On Wednesday night, former Fox News host Tucker Carlson interviewed former president Donald Trump on

Freshly cut roses. Sumptuous Marie Antoinette-style birthday cakes. Vintage Liberty dresses in Strawberry Thief fabric. Shetland ponies. These are some of the ingredients of my Instagram posts featuring my kids. I wouldn’t call myself a “sharent” by any means – someone who overshares their children’s intimate lives on social media in one long, parental “humblebrag”. But whenever I do post, it is picture-perfect. My kids look like they’ve walked straight out of a fairytale. But is it naff? Like tablescaping your kids? A form of digital narcissism? Is it, in its own unique way, a parental kind of “thirst trap”? To an extent, I’m luring others into a fantasy that doesn’t exist. I like to project a wonderfully idyllic life as a single mum... when quite frankly, it isn’t. It’s like when people try to woo their ex-partners back by posting shots of themselves half-naked and having the best time of their lives, despite crying into their pillow heartbroken all day and night. Some mums are professionals at posting perfect dreamy shots of their kids. Look no further than Carrie Johnson, Tamara Ecclestone, Stacey Solomon, and Kate and Rio Ferdinand. For celebrities and influencers, a picture-perfect ideal is the norm on social media – there are lots of cream interiors and matching Christmas jumpers. They might be promoting a homeware brand, or tagging a pram they got for free. Even when it’s tastefully done, like the former PM’s wife’s Instagram, it always gives the impression that motherhood is wondrous. That life is one big, happy Timotei advert. Even when celebrities try to be more candid, it doesn’t work. Mum-of-two Millie Mackintosh, formerly of Made in Chelsea, recently posted a “toddler tornado dump” on her Instagram. “I feel like it’s so easy to always share the nice, polished, life,” she wrote. “Well, today, I’m here to break that pattern.” The glimpse “into the delightful chaos” of Mackintosh’s maternal life included photos of a toothbrush and toothpaste on a bathroom basin, a bedroom littered with hair bows, and a make-up drawer with a few brown concealer stains on it. Really? Is that as bad as motherhood gets? For me, it’s simply more interesting to post magical rather than mundane shots. But why on earth do I want to present my kids as if they’re living in one long, tasteful pastel-coloured dream, where everything looks enchanting? No messy hair. No sleep deprivation. No kids bored out of their minds. I don’t require a filter, either – I’m already looking at life through rose-tinted spectacles, and expecting everyone else to do the same. But am I totally deluded? And, more than anything, could it be damaging to my children? Dr Charlotte Armitage, who is currently the duty-of-care psychologist on ITV’s Big Brother, has big concerns. “First of all, it’s impacting the relationship between the parent and a child because the relationship is contingent on the creation of these images and the number of likes that follow,” she says, adding that when you are “truly happy” with your situation, “you don’t tend to post perfect images”. It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world. Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives? Dr Charlotte Armitage, psychologist As parents, she continues, we are modelling behaviours to our children. “They learn by imitation – if mum is taking photos and seeking validation from likes, the child starts to become validated by these likes themselves and will develop an external focus of control; they will learn that validation comes from what others think of them. This is unhealthy because, throughout life, a child’s self-esteem and self-worth become based on what others think about them rather than how they feel about themselves.” The key, she says, is realising we shouldn’t use social media to fulfil our self-worth. “It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world,” she says. “Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives?” According to research, the average child today has had their image put on social media 1,300 times before the age of 13 – I can see this trajectory for my kids unless I put on the brakes. There are already widespread concerns over the data. In France, an anti-sharing bill continues to be discussed in the country’s senate, and parents could potentially be banned from sharing photos of their children on social media. It could also become mandatory for influencers to admit if a photo or video they posted was retouched or filtered. There is controversy over whether pictures of kids should even be posted online at all, as many are too young to even give permission. How will they feel about the spread of their image in the future? What happens if their identity is stolen – or worse, used by paedophiles? Does it promote a distorted reality of motherhood, compared with which other “normal” mums feel inadequate? And can it backfire on the parents when children’s rights in the digital era are not honoured? “Children tend to be frustrated or critical of the way their parents share images of them,” says Professor Sonia Livingstone, from the department of media and communications at the London School of Economics and Political Science. “Not because they are made to seem ‘perfect’ but because they can be embarrassed, even shamed, in the eyes of their peers. Meanwhile, parents feel hugely under pressure in many ways, both to be perfect parents and also because such images leave parents competing with each other and isolated in their own seemingly inadequate lives.” Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon is the founder of leading addictions clinic Start2Stop, and a psychologist in private practice at Chelsea Recovery Associates. He says that in his 20-year career as a psychologist, he’s “never had a parent sit in front of him and say ‘I’m addicted to Instagram,’” but that’s not because social media addiction doesn’t exist. He puts it largely down to “denial” – “not least since the use of social media can involve so many of the processes that usually characterise classic alcohol or drug addiction”. Denial being the number one culprit. “Obvious ones might be obsession, compulsion, capture of attentional focus and loss of control,” he says. “More subtly, social media use can involve the same sort of self-medication, or escape from reality, that addiction offers – and being a parent is hard. That’s why drifting into a fantasy land can be a relief from the daily grind of motherhood.” Parenting expert Hannah Keeley – aka “America’s #1 Mom Coach” – is more upbeat about mums posting potentially inauthentic photos of their kids. “The hardest truth to accept is that there are some mums who are actually professionalising motherhood to this level,” she says. “Not that they have achieved perfection, but they take pride in their performance as mums and use social media as a way to confirm that to themselves and boost their confidence to encourage their efforts. Should these mums also be obligated to ensure that all mums feel good about themselves, whether or not they have invested in their career to this level? Mums don’t have to be responsible for other mums’ perceptions.” After great debate and reflection, I’ve decided I’m happy with my Insta posts. They might be driven by my background, where my sister and I ran around in white nightdresses as if we had starring roles in Picnic at Hanging Rock. Or because I was conditioned to believe that how we look – even how thin we were – equalled self-worth. I’m not setting myself up to be a supermum. I don’t look at how many likes I get. It’s true that us mums also need to share our parenting experiences honestly, to let other mums know they are not alone. But for now, I’m not doing a U-turn – I’m just living the fairytale dream. Read More My daughter’s horsey hobby makes her happy, but our home now hums If poachers make the best gamekeepers, do siblings make the best babysitters? 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Manchester United star Katie Zelem wants one thing if England win the World Cup: Oreo milkshakes. “After games, I like to have an Oreo milkshake. That’s my go-to thing – so simple and easy, but I just love it. So, if we win, I will have a lot of Oreo milkshakes,” Zelem, 27, says with a laugh. But if Oreo milkshakes are Zelem’s top priority after she’s played, what fuels her before a match? “Before games, I’ll always eat pasta. I lived in Italy for a year, so pasta is one of my favourite things and [living in Italy] really gave me inspiration for different types, rather than just the basic stuff.” Training for a major tournament is no small feat, and combined with nutrition, camp before the tournament will be intense.“Obviously, people are all at different stages of [fitness]; some finished the league a bit earlier, and some played more minutes than others, so it’s about getting on the same page, and then ramping it up. It’ll be running, training, gym, everything you can think of.” Facing disappointment when she was not selected for the Euros team, the fresh Lioness has worked hard to get the call-up.“Last year, with the Euros, it didn’t quite go to plan, so I’m so proud of the season I’ve had. We’ve got our rewards by being selected to represent England at a World Cup,” Manchester-born Zelem divulges. “My first major tournament and I’m so excited.” But waiting for the news as to whether she would be heading to Australia and New Zealand, where the Women’s World Cup is taking place this summer, was nerve-wracking. Zelem didn’t want to miss her shot again. “I was actually at home, waiting,” she says. We knew we were going to get a FaceTime call, so it was an anxious morning for everyone.” Heading to her first World Cup, there are bound to be some nerves. “It is a good thing to feel nervous. You’re out. You’re at a World Cup. It should be a little bit nerve-wracking, playing with and against the best players in the world. Nerves are good. It’s just about channelling them in the right way,” Zelem adds calmly. Zelem is looking forward to being reunited with legendary Lioness, fellow midfielder and Barcelona player, Keira Walsh. “I do love joining up with the girls and playing with everyone, but Keira Walsh is a really good friend of mine and I have known her for about 15 years. We played together at the youth age groups a lot, we have done a lot of training camps in England,” the footballer explains. “She moved, and went from being on the doorstep to a totally different country. So, there’ll be a nice reunion at our first major tournament together.” Of course, there will be some noticeable players missing in Beth Mead and Leah Williamson, as ACL injuries have ravaged teams all over the world this season. “One or two is unlucky, but I think so many is just crazy. It certainly needs to be looked at – whether it’s our training load or the changes in play in minutes. As you see the women’s game rise and grow, the expectations become to play more games and have less recovery,” Zelem notes. It means the Lionesses of the Euros have had a shake-up. The new squad is missing its captain and top scorer, but Zelem and the rest of the team are still dreaming of World Cup victory. Katie Zelem, England Lioness and Manchester United Captain, is the brand ambassador for the healthy recipe box service Green Chef which is all about healthy living, your way.

Welcome to the first week of October, cosmic beings. We’re about to enter eclipse season, and the energy emanating from the recent full moon in Aries is still being potently felt. All zodiac signs are likely to feel more empowered, yet also more restless and impulsive, under this week’s transits.

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As colourful in nutrients as it is in appearance, this easy-to-construct salad is a powerhouse of goodness!” says functional nutritionist Pauline Cox. Roquefort, rocket and pink grapefruit salad Makes: one salad Ingredients: 90g rocket 100g Roquefort (ideally raw), cut into chunks 1 ripe avocado, peeled, stoned and sliced 2 pink grapefruits, segmented A drizzle of raspberry blush vinaigrette A handful of chopped fresh coriander A handful of pecans, chopped A handful of sunflower seeds For the vinaigrette: 100g raspberries (10-12 juicy raspberries) 60ml extra virgin olive oil Juice of 1 lime 20ml balsamic vinegar 20ml beet kvass (optional, but ideal) 1 tsp salt (ideally beetroot salt) Method: 1. To make the vinaigrette, add all of the ingredients to a blender and combine. Transfer to a clean glass jar with a lid, keep in the fridge and use within three days. 2. Lay the rocket leaves onto two plates, adding chunks of Roquefort, slices of avocado and pink grapefruit segments, and drizzle over the raspberry blush vinaigrette. 3. Sprinkle over the chopped coriander, pecans and sunflower seeds. ‘Hungry Woman’ by Pauline Cox (Ebury Press, £27). Read More Ditch Deliveroo – make these healthy, 30-minute pizzas instead Three quick and easy vegan fakeaway recipes The dish that defines me: Eddie Huang’s Taiwanese beef noodle soup Nutritionist explains how women can eat to help balance hormones How to make protein pancakes without flour The only three recipes you need to seize the summer