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A 29-year-old woman was in for a rude awakening when she asked the internet if her mother was in the wrong for refusing to babysit her newborn for free. “Am I the a**hole if my mom refused to help me take care of my baby while I go back to work?” u/erika_urrrika asked the popular Reddit forum. In her post, the new mother wrote that both she and her partner work full-time and cannot afford to have one parent stay home with their baby. The Redditor explained that their jobs don’t allow them to work from home, and they wanted to avoid spending money on childcare. In addition to being the breadwinner of the household, she is also saving money to pay off credit card debt and move to a bigger apartment. However, the grandmother refused to look after her grandchild for free, noting that she was “too old” and had “already raised her kids”. “Mind you, my mom is 64, has been a homemaker/stay-at-home-mom since 1992, and hasn’t been part of the workforce since then,” the daughter wrote. “She also added that if I really wanted this baby, then maybe I should have thought about staying home like she did to take care of it while my partner goes to work and provides for us like a ‘traditional’ family, and that if she any my dad were able to work it out, so can we.” When the Reddit user detailed her financial situation to her mother, she asked to be compensated $20 an hour for each hour she looks after her grandchild, including late fees for pickup. “So, am I the a**hole for wanting my mom, who again is at home all day long (trust me, she does not do anything besides watch TV and cook meals), to take care of my baby for free while me and my partner try to fix our finances?” she asked. In the comments, many Reddit users called the daughter “entitled” for expecting her mother to take care of her child for free. “Sorry to be blunt and rude but maybe don’t have a child if you can’t afford to take care of them,” replied one person. “And if your plan was always to go back to work you should have discussed that during the pregnancy with your mom.” “Your mother is under no obligation to babysit for you,” another user said. “Why are you having a child you don’t seem to know what to do with? And why have you not worked all this out before now?” A third person wrote: “Your mom is in no way obligated to care for YOUR BABY. It’s generous of her to be willing to do it for pay, and you have the gall to be mad she won’t do it for free? She is entitled to spend her life and free time however the hell she wants. It’s not her fault you’re in debt and decided to have a baby you can’t afford. The only thing she may have done wrong at some point along the line is raise you to be this horribly entitled.” “You chose to have a child, not your mother. Your mother isn’t a free babysitter,” another said. “She is right, she raised her children. Her babysitting on occasion would be kind and appreciated but you sound entitled thinking you are owed childcare.” One person simply commented, “You’re not the a**hole for wanting her too. But you’re the a**hole for expecting her to.” According to Sittercity, the average hourly rate of babysitters in the US in 2023 is $18.50 per hour, while the average hourly rate of nannies who “typically work on a full-time or set schedule basis” is $20 an hour. This isn’t the first time a babysitter has caused a stir on Reddit. Recently, a woman sparked a debate after revealing that she asked a family who cancelled on her babysitting services last minute to pay her half of the $840 she planned to charge them. The babysitter told Reddit’s AITA forum that she usually charges a “flat rate of $100 a night” while babysitting overnight. “Overall, the price for those three days was going to be $840,” she said. But when she received a text from the parents cancelling her babysitting services, she explained that she was “out three days pay”. In response to the last-minute cancellation, she asked the customer for $480, the “minimum [she’d] make at work in those three days”. She said the mother declined the request and said she was being “ridiculous”. While the babysitter noted that she and the family didn’t have a contract, “which in hindsight was stupid” and that “legally they don’t have to pay” her, she still felt that the right thing for the family to do was pay her. Read More Woman questions whether it was ‘selfish’ to refuse boyfriend’s request for $5,000 loan Babysitter asks family to pay half of $840 bill after they cancelled last minute People divided over whether you should switch tables in a restaurant if seated next to a crying baby Woman questions whether it was wrong to refuse boyfriend’s request for $5,000 loan Women urged to check blood pressure – here’s what you need to know Denise Welch remembers ‘losing sense of reality’ while facing post-natal depression

So you’ve been counting down to your holiday – when you’ll finally have the chance to step off the hamster wheel and relax. Except, no sooner have you checked in at your hotel than you find yourself reaching for the headache pills or tissues, as a niggling cold or migraine takes hold. Sound familiar? If it feels like you suddenly get unwell when you finally hit the pause button, you’re not imagining it – there’s even a medical term for it. The ‘let-down effect’ “This is known as the ‘let-down effect’,” says Dr Suhail Hussain, a personal physician and private home visiting GP. “When the body is used to functioning on high levels of [stress hormones] cortisol and adrenaline and they suddenly decrease, our immune system is exposed and then we’re prone to minor infections and excessive tiredness. “Pain and muscle aches also increase – adrenaline increases muscle tension, so imagine a rubber band always pulled tight, what happens when you let go? “There may also be a spike in mental health problems, such as acute anxiety and panic attacks. Flare-ups in pre-existing chronic conditions is also a common phenomenon, for example migraine and asthma attacks,” he adds. The ‘let-down effect’ can strike after a brief period of intense stress, such as after exams or completing a project, and after positive high-stress events, like planning a wedding. And for many people, it hits when you finally get to put down your to-do list and go on holiday. What’s the deal with stress hormones? Stress hormones serve an important purpose and we need them to function, so they’re not always bad news. “Basically, we are programmed to respond to danger – ‘fight or flight’ – so in stressful situations, there is an increase in levels of stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol,” Dr Hussain explains. “Together, these two hormones control mood, motivation and fear. In periods of stress or heightened anxiety, adrenaline levels rise – causing an overdrive of the sympathetic nervous system, resulting in racing pulse, high blood pressure, sweating, etc.” Stress hormones also play a role in regulating inflammation, metabolising nutrients, and aiding immune function, sleep and energy. But ideally, they wouldn’t stay at raised levels for too long. “If these hormones are always ‘on’, then inflammatory processes are accelerated and your immune system is impaired,” says Dr Hussain. “Consistently high levels of cortisol in your blood can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system.” Can you avoid the ‘let-down effect’? Dr Hussain says: “You can try to lessen the impact of the ‘let-down effect’ by de-stressing slowly. Instead of crashing and burning, try to maintain a bit of activity on the holiday or some degree of exercise, such that there’s not a massive decrease in stress hormone levels, meaning you can allow the body to acclimatise slowly.” But not getting sick on holiday may not be the only concern here. If your body is giving you warning signs that chronic stress is taking a toll, it’s important to listen. “Constantly running on high levels of stress is very bad for you. It leads to the problems mentioned above but also longer-term consequences, such as plaque formation in arteries, leading to coronary events and strokes, depression and anxiety, and even addiction. Levels of obesity are also increased,” explains Dr Hussain. He says indications to look out for could include: “Recurrent illnesses, feeling tired, lack of energy. Poor response to glucose, leading to type 2 diabetes, elevated blood pressure and disruption of the sleep-wake cycle.” If you have any concerns, check in with your GP. And Dr Hussain suggests finding ways to make managing stress in everyday life. “Build in regular relaxation to your daily schedule. Get out to walk, spend time in the sun, observe nature. Listen to relaxing music. Make a regular sleep schedule, read, spend time with family and loved ones,” he says. “Don’t just work and work and work for the expectation of a big holiday at the end of it.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live As Katie Boulter takes Wimbledon by storm, we look at her best on-court fashion so far Lioness Katie Zelem: Nerves are good – it’s just about channelling them the right way Church of England should scrap fees of up to £641 for weddings, vicar says

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