An anonymous person has been absolutely berated by their neighbour after they admitted to having their cat neutered without asking. The admission came in a Reddit post on the site’s Am I The A**hole community, where the person explained what they had done and how it led to their neighbour going “ballistic” at them. In the post, the person explained that they run a trap–neuter–return scheme among local strays and were recently called to an area with a lot of strays. They explained: “They were everywhere and I mostly ended up handing it over to professionals. “I did, however, manage to grab three very sweet cats. Two were terrified, skinny, a little beaten up, but overall friendly. The third one was a little gent.” The person explained that the third male cat had a collar, was tubby and well-groomed, indicating it had an owner. Explaining that they had a choice between locating the cat’s owners and dropping him off, or taking him to get neutered, the poster revealed they did the latter. Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter They wrote: “Ultimately I took him with me and got him neutered. No chip so I called the number on his tag and informed them where their cat was and gave them time slots to pick him up or have him dropped off. “The owners went ballistic. They were cursing me out and came to collect their cat not twenty minutes later. Called me a kidnapper, blamed me for their child having nightmares (scared over their cat going missing).” While the person attempted to defend themselves, arguing they “have a duty to care for stray cats”, they didn’t garner a lot of sympathy in the post’s comments. One Redditor argued: “You did kidnap their cat and made a (superbly arrogant) decision to have him neutered without the owner's permission. “You can judge them all you want for letting their cat outside, but the first thing to have done was to call the cat's people and asked ‘Hey, I found your cat. Did you know he was outside?’ That's the basic due diligence, right there.” However, another Redditor also argued that while the original poster was in the wrong, the owners were also being irresponsible for letting their unneutered male cat out of the house. They wrote: “Everyone sucks here. The owners for letting an intact pet outside unsupervised to breed, and you for having a surgical medical procedure done to an animal (that you KNEW had owners) without the owner’s consent. “Regardless of the morality of allowing pets to contribute to the stray population (for which the owner is an a**hole), making medical decisions for someone else's pet makes you a massive a**hole.” Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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Whether your child’s GCSE results are high, low, or somewhere in between, one thing is inevitable – they’ll compare them with their friends’ grades. This comparison culture, which is far more pervasive because of social media, can leave teens feeling inadequate because their results are worse than their mates, or make their friends feel useless if roles are reversed. But although there’s no getting away from teenagers comparing their results both on and offline, what can parents do to try and limit the damage this it can cause? Former teacher Dr Julia Clements, principal educational psychologist at the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, says the comparison of results will undoubtedly impact some teenagers’ wellbeing. “Your teenager is bound to compare their results with their peers at the same school, but also through social media,” she acknowledges. “Although this comparison is inevitable, it may be harmful for your child’s wellbeing – especially if they’ve not done as well as expected. “Indeed, the term ‘compare and despair’ can be especially pertinent on days like today.” Sharon Davies, CEO of Young Enterprise, a charity which helps young people navigate the changing world of work, adds: “The pressure to measure up to their friends’ achievements can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of inadequacy or disappointment.” So how can parents help their teens? 1. Ask how they feel If your child is down on themselves and rating themselves negatively in comparison to their friends, they may reject any positives and praise parents provide, Clements warns. “It may be more useful, in the first instance, to ask them how they’re feeling, and to acknowledge and validate difficult feelings,” she advises. Such feelings may include disappointment, sadness, anger, shame, or feeling as if they’ve let themselves – and you – down. “If your child is feeling like this, it’s important to give them the message that you love them unconditionally and you’re proud and pleased to be their parent because of who they are – not because of the grades they achieve,” she stresses. 2. If they’ve done better than their friends… If your child has achieved good results, which may be better than some of their friends, then they’ll want to celebrate. But while celebrating is of course a great idea, Clements suggests: “You may want to talk with them about how to be sensitive and compassionate towards their friends who haven’t done so well.” 3. Help them turn a negative into a positive Consultant clinical psychologist Dr Nihara Krause specialises in teenage mental health and is working with the Talking Futures campaign to help parents engage their children in meaningful conversations about their futures. She says if a young person doesn’t get the grades they were hoping for, they may be highly critical of their performance in comparison to their peers. But she suggests parents show them how to turn their negative thinking around. “Parents should encourage their children to focus on recognising the approach they took to exams this time round and take steps to reflect on what they could do to achieve a better result in the future. Focus on what helps a young person gain their own personal best, no matter how their results compare with others.” 4. Don’t ask about their friend’s results or post about them Krause says parents should try to celebrate their child’s achievements for what they are and avoid asking about their friends’ results. “To avoid comparison, parents should also avoid sharing their child’s results on social media,” she says. 5. Don’t be too hard on yourself Clements points out that comparison culture may not just affect teenagers – if their results aren’t as good as expected, mums and dads might start comparing their own parenting during the revision and exam period with other parents whose kids have got better results. “As a parent or carer, you may also be drawn into unhelpful comparisons with others,” says Clements, “and you may question the amount of support you were able to provide your child in the run up to their exams. However, today is not a day for self-criticism or judgements – some self-compassion is important at this time.” 6. Reach out for support This might be the first results day many parents have gone through with their child, and while comparisons with other teens may well have been unhelpful, Davies points out that schools will have career advisers and teachers available who can offer support and advice. There are also online forums and blogs where those in similar situations share their experiences. She says: “No-one is expecting you to have all the answers – that’s why there’s support available.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Women more severely affected by ME, study claims 4 hacks to get teens off the sofa and get active – as study warns of heart damage Taking adult education classes may lower risk of dementia, study suggests

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