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Modern-day dating feels like a complicated sport. And now, with a whole new vocabulary to describe every trial and tribulation, it’s becoming even more challenging to break out of the amateur dating division. Is it a red flag, a beige flag, or an amber flag? Is he ghosting me? Breadcrumbing me? Lovebombing me? Who knows, maybe he’s on the verge of delicate dumping me? Welcome to smart dating in the digital era. So, you’ve learnt the zeitgeisty lingo and have a newfound confidence in identifying certain behaviours. Things are seemingly going well with a third Hinge date on the horizon – then BAM. You find your promising beau’s face splashed across a Facebook group filled with tens of thousands of strangers asking: Are we dating the same guy? Originating in New York with over 110,000 users, the Facebook group has since branched out to London, Paris, Dubai, Toronto, Dublin, Los Angeles and Boston. For the blissfully unaware, Are We Dating the Same Guy works like this: Women share screenshots of dating profiles and ask for intel or red flags. The Facebook posts are often inundated with personal experiences ranging anywhere from STI claims, cheating allegations and toxic behaviours. To join the groups, women are asked a series of questions before agreeing to a set of robust rules and digitally swearing they will not leak any of the group’s contents to outsiders. Among the rules are no doxxing (publicly sharing someone's personal details), no roasting, and no naming of the men. That said, it's become all too easy to identify people online through reverse image searches and word of mouth – to name a few. “The popularity of these groups are in alignment to the increase of smart dating – this is a phase that I think society is in,” dating expert Paul Brunson tells Indy100. “We’re becoming more aware of dating behaviours – a prime of that being the word ‘toxic.’ Twenty years ago, no one was speaking about ‘toxic dating’, but now there are many people who believe they can define it.” The intention of Are We Dating the Same Guy is to keep women safe and create awareness about toxic behaviours. “These groups have great intentions because ultimately it is about identifying dangerous people and behaviour, which is a good thing,” Paul explains, citing that while women are going through an incredible “empowerment phase” with “more time and command over the dating space,” it is still is very much “far tilted on the man’s side.” “We still are living in a society that is far greatly tilted towards men when it comes to dating, and it’s not just men from a general standpoint,” he continues. “It’s even some of these terrible nuances in dating.” These include narcissists, psychopaths, Machiavellians, and sadists – people that contribute to the psychological theory of personality. Furthermore, a recent study from the charity Plan International worryingly revealed that a third of German men still find physical violence against women to be acceptable. A staggering 34 per cent admitted to violence against their partner to “instil respect in them.” Meanwhile, a further 33 per cent thought it was acceptable if their “hand slipped” during an argument. “The fact that we still have survey results like that shows that we definitely need spaces to protect and empower women,” Paul adds. Paul, who recently added Global Relationship Insights Expert to his impressive matchmaking resume in addition to Married at First Sight and Celebs Go Dating, explains how we’ve got “much more information and content around dating than ever before that goes beyond anecdotal.” There's now empirical evidence, with researchers who have been conducting studies for 10-20 years, which Paul believes to be the “driving force behind smart dating.” Paul highlights that women are becoming exceedingly great at dating which is often driven by feedback loops due and open discussions about their experiences. They've become more emotionally available, more courageous, and understand how to be less neurotic when dating. Men, on the other hand, hardly have any feedback loops, and Paul believes we could actually benefit from mixed-gender groups, as men need to catch up and “have a higher dating IQ.” “We know that guys suck when it comes to emotional intelligence, compared to women – so a lot of it is poor execution.” Ultimately, there are “far fewer bad guys than there are good guys.” We know bad men exist, but according to evolutionary psychologist Dr David Buss, the highest percentage of men that fall into the dark tetrad personality types is 15 per cent of the population. "That's the group that has evil intentions," Paul continues. This is not to get confused with misalignment and miscommunication when dating. When intentions aren't communicated, you could end up with two people seeking two different things. Subsequently, the person who seeks long-term commitment views the behaviour of the short-termer (i.e. casual sex and friends with benefits) as toxic. “Ultimately, I think we have a lot of guys that their intention is not fully outlined, and because of the misaligned intention you have the interpretation of their behaviour as being ‘toxic’, when in actuality, sometimes it’s not,” Paul explains. To make dating a more positive, safer and enjoyable experience, Paul shared three invaluable tips to have under your belt: Don’t exchange personal information right away A dark tetrad or a straight scammer will try and move you off the app quickly. And the reason they try and do that is because the apps are really good about safety now. If someone is asking for your personal information, the safety features will inform you not to send that information, thanks to the AI built into the app. If you have given up your information, the app can no longer protect you. Stay on the app and let it protect you. Be cautious when people ask for things The moment you have anyone ask you for anything, mainly money, that is a huge red flag. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a grand amount, it could be as simple as “I don’t get paid until next week, please could I have five pounds." Meet in a public space Meet in a public space, never get picked up from your personal address and inform friends about the date details. Most importantly on the first meet-up, set boundaries. You can very quickly see how respectful someone is to your boundaries. An example being, you meet up on your lunch break and you only have until 2pm. When that time comes, do they try and push you to stay even longer – despite informing them you have to leave because you have something to do? Anytime someone is disrespecting your boundaries, that is also a red flag. Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

If you are counting down the days until the leaves start turning brown to get started on the fall foliage hikes and apple picking, Blundstone and L.L.Bean have the collaboration for you. On Tuesday, the Tasmanian brand beloved for its outdoors-focused footwear and the Maine-based label known for its Boat and Tote (and in more recent years, the “ironic” versions of it) have partnered to release the ultimate hiking boot.

People looking to eat at a high-end restaurant in New York City ultimately learned that the entire thing was an elaborate prank. On Saturday 23 September, Mehran’s Steakhouse finally had a table available in its East Village location after previously having a waitlist with nearly 3,000 names on it. Around 140 diners showed up with no idea that the restaurant wasn’t real. The origins of the prank date back to 2021, when Mehran Jalali and his 16 housemates were having biweekly steak dinners that he would cook in their Upper East Side apartment. As a joke, the roommates made a Google page where they could leave good reviews. Strangers eventually found them and assumed the reviews were real. After more people got accidentally wrapped up in the prank, the roommates created a website for the steakhouse, and by 2022, the wait list had 2,600 names on it. The group then attempted to make their prank real this past weekend, when they rented an event space in the East Village, and obtained a one-day liquor license and food-handling permits before inviting those who’d put their names on the reservation list. Members of the press were able to attend the restaurant, including a New York Times food writer, as well as a reporter from the New York Post. The $144 main entree was called the Bovine Circle of Life, better known as steak and potatoes. The restaurant’s simple salad also came with an elaborate name, Agrarian Synergies. A waiter even walked around with a gallon of milk, claiming it was from a cow from Uganda named Phillip as part of the meal’s concept. Part of the prank also included a selection of framed photographs of Jalali posing with celebrities he had “cooked for” over his years as a chef, including Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Barack Obama and John F Kennedy. “The worst-case scenario for me would’ve been if like, people realise that it was a fake steakhouse not because like, like the pranks and stuff, you know, that the lies were absurd, but because just like the food wasn’t that good, which ended up not happening,” the 21-year-old told Inside Edition. The group also staged a celebrity appearance. “We had some of our friends come and hold posters for Drake so that way people walking by, people walking would think that Drake was actually inside when he really wasn’t,” one of the pranksters, Riley Walz, told the outlet. According to the Daily Mail, the creators said they hoped the night wouldn’t be a “one hit wonder”. “People said they wouldn’t change a single thing about the steak,” the chef added. Since the one-night opening, more people have taken to Google to leave the steakhouse a review. “I got the luxury of being able to attend the one night only pop up and it did not disappoint!” one review began. “The waiter was very attentive and he didn’t bat an eye even when my husband asked him to recook the steak five times! Always smiling. We received complimentary wine because of this event. It was delicious.” The review continued: “The chef told me he personally crushed the grapes with his feet and fermented the juice for 98 years. Wine was amazing but the showstopper was the steak. The aroma in the restaurant alone almost made me pass out. I was getting lightheaded as I did not eat for four days just so that I would be able to eat as much as possible today. The first bite was better than anything on Earth. I levitated ... Turns out Drake was there a bit earlier than me?! He has great taste haha.” The Independent has contacted Jalali for comment. Read More Starbucks faces lawsuit as customers claim refreshers contain no fruit Subway enthusiasts stew over launch of first ever 3-inch sandwich 8 of the best wine regions to travel to around the world Cold-weather recipes to get on your radar now Five easy recipes to cook with your kids Baked beans and pasta become kitchen cupboard staples in British households

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The boss of Silverstone has warned Just Stop Oil campaigners that they will be putting lives at risk if they protest at the British Grand Prix. The climate activists have already targeted the Lord’s Ashes Test, the Premiership rugby final and the World Snooker Championship so far this year. Speaking to the PA news agency ahead of Sunday’s race, Silverstone managing director Stuart Pringle said: “The fundamental difference here is that you are not putting your life in danger when you run on the pitch at Lord’s. “You are not putting your life in danger when you sit on a snooker table or protest at a flower show. “A motor racing track is not the place to go. It is extraordinarily dangerous and people will be putting lives at risk if they go there, and any sensible, right-thinking person can extrapolate what the ultimate risk here is. “My strong, strong message is: ‘Do not put your life in danger. This is not the place to go and sit on a floor’. It is absolute madness if someone climbs on to a live racing track.” Five protesters invaded last year’s British Grand Prix after they stormed the Wellington Straight – the fastest point of the Northamptonshire track – before sitting down during the opening lap. The contest had already been suspended following Alfa Romeo driver Zhou Guanyu’s high-speed crash, but a number of cars sped by the group before they were dragged away by marshals. The protesters were handed suspended jail sentences in March. Silverstone has worked alongside Northamptonshire Police to beef up security ahead of this year’s event, with a record 480,000 people expected to attend over the weekend, and more than 140,000 fans in place for the race. Pringle added: “We have no specific intelligence, but we will plan for the worst and hope for the best. If somebody is minded to invade a flower show then they are probably minded to invade a motor race because we have many more global viewers. “But there are plans in place. We will have a much more visible police presence around the event and we hope that fans help us to try and spot people who are planning to disturb people’s fun.” Lewis Hamilton is gearing up for his home race following a disappointing Austrian Grand Prix where he finished seventh and was then demoted to eighth after a post-race penalty for exceeding track limits. Hamilton was also dealt a public rebuke by Mercedes team principal Toto Wolff. The Austrian told Hamilton to “just drive the car” following a number of complaints by his driver over the radio. “There are days when I can say I’m truly proud of myself, and days like today when frustration takes over,” said Hamilton on his Instagram account. “In a race it can feel like you’re hanging off a cliff and losing the strength to hold on. “It’s confusing for us to have such strong performances one day and then be nowhere the next. “But when you really care about what you’re doing, you brush it off and keep fighting. Heads down for Silverstone.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Max Verstappen refuses to ponder title hat-trick despite another emphatic win Toto Wolff plays down impact of ‘just please drive it’ remark to Lewis Hamilton Austrian Grand Prix to remain on F1 calendar until at least 2030

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