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10 things you should know about living with a stoma
Musician Tom Speight was diagnosed with the long-term bowel condition Crohn’s disease 15 years ago. After undergoing emergency surgery for the condition , he had a stoma connected to his digestive system. As today marks World Inflammatory Bowel Diseases Day (IDB), Speight has opened up about the realities of living with a stoma and debunks 10 common misconceptions about his condition. A stoma is an opening on the abdomen that can be connected to either your digestive or urinary system to allow waste to be diverted out of your body. Stomas are sometimes used after surgery to remove cancers in your pelvic area or help treat inflammatory bowel diseases, such as Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis. How does Crohn’s impact on your life and mental health? Over the years, [there have been some] really difficult situations to deal with – I was hospitalised last year while I was making my album, and lying in hospital, not knowing if I was going to be well enough to finish what I’d been working so long and so hard for was really really demoralising. For me, stress is a big trigger, so when you’re stressing about keeping up with everything and keeping on top of things it was actually making me worse. There’s a ripple effect to this disease in that your limitations can affect how others [family and friends] live their life,” he said. “I’ve been having regular therapy since 2019 to help manage my stress and improve my mental health. Working out how to manage the condition is unbelievably frustrating. Finding the right team of doctors, the right medication, and the right diet is such a draining process. For me, one of the hardest parts is knowing that despite everything you try, the trial and error process you go through can ultimately put you back in hospital if it’s not quite right. It can be a scary thought. The prospect of having a third operation or a sixth stay in hospital is always there, at the back of my mind. Here are the 10 most common misconceptions about living with a stoma, according to Speight: 1. Swimming is fine Often people believe that having a stoma means you can’t enjoy the same hobbies and activities that you did before you had the operation. Swimming comes to mind first: I think people presume you’ll have a leakage or accident, but in the 10 years I’ve had the stoma. I’ve never once had a problem. The stoma bag is waterproof and secure due to its adhesive. There’s no reason why a person with a stoma can’t swim with confidence. 2. What you can and cannot eat When I first spoke to my stoma nurse, I asked about my dietary requirements and what to avoid... you’d be surprised about what’s on the forbidden list. Some people may be advised to avoid eating very fibrous foods, or foods with tough outer skins such as sweetcorn, popcorn, peas and potato skins, to avoid causing a blockage in the bowel. Often eating out can feel like a game of Russian roulette. I’ve had many episodes where I’ve been caught out and been absolutely floored in the process. 3. Being visible I was 24 when I first had the emergency surgery to have a stoma. At the time, I thought having the operation would mean my career was over... you can’t be a pop star and have a bag, right? In reality, no one actually will know until you tell them. I’ve worn tight-fitting clothes while channelling my best Freddie Mercury moves and it’s never been a problem. I kind of wish I could tell my younger self that things will be ok and it’s not the end. In some ways, it was just the start, because it gave me a whole new lease of life. 4. ‘Only elderly people have stomas’ I originally thought only old people have stomas, and yes, the elderly are more likely to have a stoma, but surgery can be performed on anybody at any age. I’ve met a number of younger people through the charity Crohn’s & Colitis UK who are just like me, and it’s quite comforting to know you’re not alone. 5. Sex Without being too graphic, this isn’t a problem. It’s all about finding the right partner who can make you feel safe and confident. 6. Smell A lot of the misconceptions about having a stoma were things I initially thought too. I thought it would be unhygienic and, quite frankly, not smell so fresh. The reality is, you’ll only ever notice the smell when you go change it in the toilet. In some ways, it would be no different from anyone else using the loo 7. Is this permanent? For some patients, a stoma is permanent. However, for many, an ostomy is performed to allow for the bowel to heal from scarring, inflammation and infection. I personally need to get to a level of health where a reversal could be performed, while also managing to take some time off to heal properly. 8. ‘You can’t exercise’ I think this misconception might be because people might think you’re vulnerable or weak due to the operation. Exercising regularly can have a really positive impact on people with a stoma, as it reduces the risk of a hernia and keeps your body fit. I’ve never felt stronger in my life. 9. Find the nearest toilet I think people often think you’re walking around with poop all day... this isn’t the case! You just have to go to the toilet like everyone else. 10. The reality is... Yes, it’s a life changing operation but with a few mindful changes you can lead a happy and healthy life. Just avoid the popcorn and drink plenty of water. 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Red flags you might be missing about your child’s online safety
During the wait for improved online safety laws, tens of thousands of grooming crimes have been recorded. The Online Safety Bill, which is meant to become law this autumn, has encountered numerous delays and changes since it become a proposed legislation. As a result, the children’s charity NSPCC has called on MPs and tech giants to support the Bill, especially since 34,000 online grooming crimes had been recorded by UK police forces over the last six years, since first calling for more robust safety regulations in 2017. Based on data from 42 UK police forces, the NSPCC said that last year, 6,350 offences related to the sexual communication with a child were recorded. Some 5,500 took place against primary school-aged children, and 73% of the crimes were related to Meta-linked platforms or Snapchat. NSPCC chief executive Sir Peter Wanless said: “The number of offences must serve as a reminder of why the Online Safety Bill is so important and why the ground-breaking protections it will give children are desperately needed. “We’re pleased the government has listened and strengthened the legislation so companies must tackle how their sites contribute to child sexual abuse in a tough but proportionate way, including in private messaging.” Here are some of the red flags parents should be on the look out for. Being secretive about how they are spending their time On their website, Childline define grooming as someone building a child’s trust to make a connection in order to do something sexual or illegal. “Studies show parental supervision typically declines as children get older, however online abuse does not,” said Mark Bentley, safeguarding and cyber security lead at charity The National Grid for Learning (LGfL). From being secretive to omitting relevant information, changes in behaviour can vary from child to child. But it’s something for all parents to be mindful of when their child starts using social media more. “Unfortunately, as in many areas of child protection, indicators of abuse can often mirror natural markers of growing up,” said Bentley. “As children and adolescents develop, they seek independence from parents, engage in risk taking and have changes in mood and friendship group. “Nonetheless, these markers remain vital to watch out for, even if it is just to support your growing child. Those who are being groomed online are much more likely to be defensive and secretive about phone usage and loathed to be separated from their device.” Having unexplained gifts, big or small Buying gifts for children, whether big or small, can be another grooming technique used to flatter children and their families. “Some groomers have been known to provide alternative phones just to contact them, and this is always a red flag if you suspect your child may have a secondary device,” said Bentley. They are spending too much time onlineSocial media may promote negative experiences if no boundaries have been established.“Of course, some of these [red] flags can also be a sign of the child going through adolescence but it’s important to discuss any unusual behaviour with them as soon as possible,” said Simon Newman, member of International Cyber Expo’s advisory council and of the Cyber Resilience Centre for London.“The way groomers target children varies, but is often done through social media sites, text messages and apps, emails or online forums – particularly gaming sites.”They develop friendships with a much older person Children and young people can be groomed by a stranger or by someone they know – such as a family member, friend or professional, according to NSPCC. But the age gap between a child and their groomer can also be relatively small. The groomer may also work towards building a relationship with the family to gain trust, so they can be left alone with the child. “There are various models of the stages of grooming, but at heart it revolves around building up trust and making a child feel understood and listened to in a way they do not feel elsewhere, and then breaking down the links of trust to family, school, friends and other adults,” said Bentley. “Any parent thinking that this might be happening should definitely reach out for help.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Rumer Willis says she is ‘grateful’ to her body following birth of daughter Sugary cereals and yoghurts must remove child-friendly packaging – health group Clever kitchen storage solutions to clear the clutter
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Mick Fleetwood says his Hawaii restaurant was ‘lost’ in devastating Maui wildfires
Mick Fleetwood has confirmed that his restaurant in Hawaii has been burnt down by the ongoing deadly wildfires in Maui. The Fleetwood Mac co-founder, 76, wrote in a post on X, the social media platform formerly known as Twitter, that Fleetwood’s on Front Street “has been lost” as the fires rip through the historic town of Lahaina on the island. At least 55 people have died in the disaster, alongside more than 1,700 buildings and billions of dollars in property that have been destroyed. More than 14,000 people have been evacuated from Maui as of Wednesday. In his post, Fleetwood wrote: “Maui and the Lahaina community have been my home for several decades. This is a devastating moment for Maui, and many are suffering unimaginable loss. “Fleetwood’s on Front Street has been lost and while we are heartbroken, our main priority is the safety of our dear staff and team members. On behalf of myself and my family, I share my heartfelt thoughts and prayers for the people of Maui. “We are committed to supporting the community and those affected by this disaster in the days and months and years to come,” he added. Fleetwood opened his fine dining restaurant in 2012, featuring live entertainment and a rooftop area for customers to enjoy. The restaurant’s official Instagram account also shared a post, which read: “We do not have enough information at this time regarding Fleetwood’s on Front Street or any of our neighbours to share. Mahalo for your continued thoughts and prayers for our ohana, community and our first responders.” The wildfires began on Tuesday and have worsened throughout the week as a faraway hurricane fanned the flames, causing them to spread quickly. Governor Josh Green of Hawaii told a news conference on Thursday (10 August): “The full extent of the destruction of Lahaina will shock you. It does appear that a bomb went off.” US president Joe Biden issued a major disaster declaration and has ordered Federal aid to help local recovery efforts in the affected areas. He added in a White House statement: “Jill and I send our deepest condolences to the families of those who lost loved ones in the wildfires in Maui, and our prayers are with those who have seen their homes, businesses and communities destroyed. “We are grateful to the brave firefighters and first responders who continue to run toward danger, putting themselves in harm’s way to save lives.” A number of celebrities have also sent the people of Maui their well-wishes and have shared ways fans can help. Jason Momoa, who is Hawaiian, shared a post on Instagram to inform fans where they can donate to help with rescue efforts. He wrote: “We are devastated and heartbroken for our friends and ohana on Maui who [have] been impacted by the recent wildfires.” Bette Midler tweeted this week: “The beautiful island of Maui, in the most beautiful state in the union, is suffering. My family and I send our deepest and most profound sympathies to everyone who has lost anything or everything in the Maui fires.” Former US president Barack Obama has also spoken out and said in an Instagram Story: “It’s tough to see some of the images coming out of Hawaii – a place that’s special to so many of us. Michelle and I are thinking of everyone who has lost a loved one, or whose life has been turned upside down.” Read More Maui fires – live: Wildfires death toll climbs to 55 with 1,000 people still missing on Hawaii island ‘Heartbroken’ Aquaman star Jason Momoa reacts to ‘apocalyptic’ Maui wildfires Woman says her life was ‘blown up’ by viral plane rant where she called passenger ‘not real’ How to save money on your summer barbecue as prices soar Madeira: an unparalleled gastro heaven Europeans slam American for saying it’s ‘weird how’ French people butter sandwiches
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