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A mother has been defended after she explained why she called her daughter’s father “creepy” over the name he gave to his newborn child. In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I the A**hole?” Reddit forum, the woman – who goes by the username u/Aggressive_Buy4075 – asked if she was in the wrong for criticising the name choice. She started off her post by providing context about the situation, explaining that she got pregnant with her now 10-year-old daughter after “a drunken hook-up with a friend in her mid twenties”. While noting that the pregnancy wasn’t “the most glamorous or flattering truth,” she and her friend still “decided to keep the child and co-parent”. She also acknowledged that she and her pal were “never a couple” and “didn’t want to be one either”. The woman continued her post by explaining that when her friend and his longtime girlfriend were expecting baby, she’d “been supportive to them both” as much as possible, “without crossing any lines”. She then explained how she wanted her 10-year-old to get to know her soon-to-be half-sibling. “I’ve encouraged my daughter to help out whenever she’s staying with them during the pregnancy and to behave. I’ve also made it clear that I want the children to have a close relationship, despite having different mothers,” she wrote. “I’ve even said that if they were comfortable with it, on nights I have my daughter [and] if they ever want time alone, I’ll babysit once they have the baby. So my daughter can spend time with her sibling.” She added that while she “thought everything was great” and was excited for her “daughter to have a sibling,” that ultimately changed when her friend and his partner had their baby - and she learned the newborn’s name. “They’d named [her] using my daughter’s name,” the Reddit user continued. “[My friend’s girlfriend] didn’t seem to have any issue with this when she introduced the baby bold as brass. My friend seemed uncomfortable and wouldn’t look at me directly. I asked them what they were playing at, at which point my friend’s father said he’d take my daughter down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and left with her.” The Reddit poster noted that during the conversation, her friend told her to “calm down and not overreact”, while “his girlfriend told [her] she didn’t see the issue and it was a pretty name”. She continued to explain how she still asked the couple why they chose a name that was the same as her daughter’s. “I asked them if they’d named the baby for my daughter, trying to understand the logic here, but his girlfriend said that no it was just a pretty name she liked,” she continued. “I then asked if they planned to use a nickname or a middle name when addressing her on a daily basis and her response was that she didn’t see a need for that.” She went on to detail how she criticised the couple for their baby name choice, specifying that she told them it was a “creepy” decision to use the name. “I told them they were being ridiculous and that they couldn’t do this, I then told his girlfriend that I found this frankly creepy and told my friend he was being spineless if he was happy to go along with this,” she continued. While her friend claimed to her that their daughter “could use a nickname or something,” the woman shut that idea down by asking: “Why was it more reasonable for a girl who has used that name for a decade, to [be shamed] for her name, compared to a baby who had no concept of what a name was?” She concluded her post by noting that her friend’s girlfriend call her a “b****” for talking to her like that, after “she just gave birth”. The woman added that the new mother “asked the nurses to remove [her], saying that [the Reddit poster] was being disruptive”. “Maybe my temper is running a little too hot though and I was too harsh on her when she just gave birth. It’s just so f***ing weird,” the woman continued. She later made an edit to her post, reiterating that, although it wasn’t her decision to name the newborn, her daughter’s name shouldn’t have been an option. “I know that what they want to name their child is their choice, they could have called her Dinosaur for all I care but this is one name that should be off limits or adjusted, they even have the same surname as they have the same father,” she wrote. She claimed that she questioned her friend’s girlfriend’s intentions in the situation, adding: “Something about it just felt malicious and deliberate, as if she’s trying to replace my daughter and for them both to spring it on us like that at the first meeting? No, that was weird.” The Reddit post has since amassed more than 23,800 upvotes. In the comments, readers went on to defend the woman and question the couple for using the same name as her daughter. They also described what potential issues could arise when two half-siblings have the same first and last name. “From the outside it sure reads like she wants to replace her partner’s affection for his first daughter with his new baby. Of course it’s creepy,” one wrote, while another added: “And the suggestion that the 10 year old should use a nickname? Wow. Talk about audacity.” “Imagine two girls, same name, same city, possibly close enough to attend the same high school eventually, same parent. Imagine one has a warrant, or something that comes up on a background check for employment,” a third wrote. “Or can call and access accounts that just need an ID with the name on it and don’t verify SSN or biometrics.” Other people continued to claim that the couple’s name choice was “manipulative”, while encouraging the original poster to take legal action against her daughter’s father. “Worse than creepy. Calculated and manipulative. She wants to get rid of OP and choose the nuclear option by attacking her daughter,” one user claimed. “While no name can be claimed, this is a move full of hate and spite,” another wrote. “I would tell your daughter’s father that you will be going for full custody of your daughter and taking him for child support because you can no longer trust him to do the right thing by your daughter, how can you trust that he wouldn’t allow his gf to treat your daughter poorly based on this behaviour.” The Independent has contacted u/Aggressive_Buy4075 for comment. Read More Barbie? Ken? Venezuela?: Why baby names won’t be boring for much longer Adele says she wants to have a baby with boyfriend Rich Paul ‘soon’ TikTok theory on why there are so many girls named Bella at Bama Rush goes viral Khloe Kardashian officially changes son Tatum’s last name Grandmother and grandson who had sepsis at same time ‘lucky to be alive’ Cancer-hit dad who planned own funeral outlives three-week prognosis

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The type of toys children play with can have a profound effect on their success in adult life, according to an academic report. Dr Jacqueline Harding, a child behavioural expert, said repetitive childhood play can provide a long-lasting memory imprint and have the potential to subconsciously steer their career path. And they can help develop and deepen problem-solving abilities and improve imagination and creativity. Dr Harding explained how joy in early life from playing with toys can become a strong driver in later life decisions. It follows research of 1,000 parents of 0-7 year olds, which found 75 per cent buy toys they hope will contribute towards their child’s future success. More than half (51 per cent) deem their child’s playthings very important to develop their critical skills, crucial for everyday life. The study was commissioned by Mattel, creators of Thomas & Friends, which has released a white paper from King’s College London revealing the social and cognitive benefits of train play for children. Dr Jacqueline Harding said: “Favourite toys tend to be played with almost every day and it is this repetitive act that can leave an imprint on the young developing brain. “So, it almost goes without saying that the playthings young children engage with on a regular basis can have a long-term effect and may even subconsciously steer them in a particular career direction. “Of course, this is hard to prove beyond doubt as there are so many other factors involved - but taking toys seriously is a good idea as children spend so much time engaging with them, and choosing wisely according to their individual interests can pay real dividends.” The biggest benefit parents believe children get from toys when it comes to improving critical skills is the improvement in their fine motor skills (68 per cent). Almost as many (67 per cent) said it was how toys drive imagination and creativity, while 63 per cent think toys can help with problem-solving skills. While 86 per cent went as far as saying they think toys can have a large or moderate impact on improving a child’s chances of a successful career, in the future. But when it comes to actually choosing toys for their children, the top priority is that it they are age-appropriate (59 per cent). Others want to ensure the toy is safe (55 per cent) or more than its perceived educational value (47 per cent). It also emerged 58 per cent have particular brands or toy lines they turn specifically for their developmental value. But 21 per cent fear their little ones don’t play with educational toys as much as they’d like, according to the OnePoll.com data. Dr Harding added: “One astounding insight is that at two years of age children engage in the same level of mental work as adults whilst engaged in imaginative play. “It is well established that imaginary play and creative pursuits offer up a wealth of surprising benefits that have exciting biological and neurological benefits for children and adults. “During childhood, the brain is known to be particularly absorbent – this is known as ‘neuroplasticity’. “In other words, it is easier to learn aspects of life – so not only does play yield a significant benefit during childhood itself but also in later adult life.” It comes after a separate white paper by Dr Salim Hashmi, a researcher from King’s College, reviewed more than 1,600 scientific research papers to explore the advantages of playing with toy trains. One of the primary benefits Dr Hashmi identified was children who play with toy trains can develop better thinking and social skills, allowing them to learn and practice collaboration, cooperation, and social understanding while interacting with others. His study also highlighted how playing with toy trains allows children to develop and refine essential thinking skills, contributing to their problem-solving abilities. Talking about his research for Thomas & Friends, Dr Hashmi said: “Constructing tracks, arranging train cars, envisioning scenarios, and enacting them during train play can stimulate cognitive development and enhance critical thinking, spatial analysis, and decision-making skills. “Collaborative play with toy trains could help encourage teamwork, negotiation, and collaboration, as children share resources, ideas, and play together. “Additionally, playing with toy trains provides children with opportunities to develop and practice problem-solving abilities. “Overall, train play, is an excellent way for children to develop key skills.” Top tips on choosing a toy for your child: 1. Take time to watch your child playing and try to get ‘into their thinking’ – what appears to light up their brain? 2. Guide children towards toys and play experiences that meet the need for them at their stage of development. 3. Be aware of the types of play that can aid them in their future – toys that help them begin to connect with others (when they are developmentally ready and able to do so). 4. Play with your child in a way that does not take over but allows them agency - a little control. 5. At other times, sit back and allow your child space to think while they play - being mindful that in their brain so much is taking place. 6. Talk to your child in ways that they can understand about what they are doing while they play – just gentle questions not an inquisition. Children often wish to share with adults what they have achieved or what matters to them while they play. 7. Allow your child time to explain what they are doing. Younger children will perhaps just show you rather than talk about it while older children might wish to discuss how they solved a problem or found a solution while they played. 8. Help children begin to collaborate with others while they play. Sometimes this may just involve keeping a watchful eye and ensuring a fair distribution of resources, so conflicts are avoided. 9. Relish play and be respectful of the power it yields in terms of a child’s mental health and general wellbeing. 10. Guide children towards toys and play experiences that are inclusive and not gender specific. Read More Study finds free childcare reform has ‘little benefit’ to poorer families Couples delay getting married in order to buy new home Most children in kinship care living with at least one grandparent, figures show Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas reach agreement after child custody row Comedian Ashley Blaker on why he wants to ‘change the conversation’ around children with special needs Brian Austin Green gets candid about co-parenting with Megan Fox

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