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Freshly cut roses. Sumptuous Marie Antoinette-style birthday cakes. Vintage Liberty dresses in Strawberry Thief fabric. Shetland ponies. These are some of the ingredients of my Instagram posts featuring my kids. I wouldn’t call myself a “sharent” by any means – someone who overshares their children’s intimate lives on social media in one long, parental “humblebrag”. But whenever I do post, it is picture-perfect. My kids look like they’ve walked straight out of a fairytale. But is it naff? Like tablescaping your kids? A form of digital narcissism? Is it, in its own unique way, a parental kind of “thirst trap”? To an extent, I’m luring others into a fantasy that doesn’t exist. I like to project a wonderfully idyllic life as a single mum... when quite frankly, it isn’t. It’s like when people try to woo their ex-partners back by posting shots of themselves half-naked and having the best time of their lives, despite crying into their pillow heartbroken all day and night. Some mums are professionals at posting perfect dreamy shots of their kids. Look no further than Carrie Johnson, Tamara Ecclestone, Stacey Solomon, and Kate and Rio Ferdinand. For celebrities and influencers, a picture-perfect ideal is the norm on social media – there are lots of cream interiors and matching Christmas jumpers. They might be promoting a homeware brand, or tagging a pram they got for free. Even when it’s tastefully done, like the former PM’s wife’s Instagram, it always gives the impression that motherhood is wondrous. That life is one big, happy Timotei advert. Even when celebrities try to be more candid, it doesn’t work. Mum-of-two Millie Mackintosh, formerly of Made in Chelsea, recently posted a “toddler tornado dump” on her Instagram. “I feel like it’s so easy to always share the nice, polished, life,” she wrote. “Well, today, I’m here to break that pattern.” The glimpse “into the delightful chaos” of Mackintosh’s maternal life included photos of a toothbrush and toothpaste on a bathroom basin, a bedroom littered with hair bows, and a make-up drawer with a few brown concealer stains on it. Really? Is that as bad as motherhood gets? For me, it’s simply more interesting to post magical rather than mundane shots. But why on earth do I want to present my kids as if they’re living in one long, tasteful pastel-coloured dream, where everything looks enchanting? No messy hair. No sleep deprivation. No kids bored out of their minds. I don’t require a filter, either – I’m already looking at life through rose-tinted spectacles, and expecting everyone else to do the same. But am I totally deluded? And, more than anything, could it be damaging to my children? Dr Charlotte Armitage, who is currently the duty-of-care psychologist on ITV’s Big Brother, has big concerns. “First of all, it’s impacting the relationship between the parent and a child because the relationship is contingent on the creation of these images and the number of likes that follow,” she says, adding that when you are “truly happy” with your situation, “you don’t tend to post perfect images”. It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world. Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives? Dr Charlotte Armitage, psychologist As parents, she continues, we are modelling behaviours to our children. “They learn by imitation – if mum is taking photos and seeking validation from likes, the child starts to become validated by these likes themselves and will develop an external focus of control; they will learn that validation comes from what others think of them. This is unhealthy because, throughout life, a child’s self-esteem and self-worth become based on what others think about them rather than how they feel about themselves.” The key, she says, is realising we shouldn’t use social media to fulfil our self-worth. “It’s more important to ask ourselves the question of why we feel the need to present this kind of picture-perfect image of ourselves to the world,” she says. “Is it because, in reality, we are discontented with our lives?” According to research, the average child today has had their image put on social media 1,300 times before the age of 13 – I can see this trajectory for my kids unless I put on the brakes. There are already widespread concerns over the data. In France, an anti-sharing bill continues to be discussed in the country’s senate, and parents could potentially be banned from sharing photos of their children on social media. It could also become mandatory for influencers to admit if a photo or video they posted was retouched or filtered. There is controversy over whether pictures of kids should even be posted online at all, as many are too young to even give permission. How will they feel about the spread of their image in the future? What happens if their identity is stolen – or worse, used by paedophiles? Does it promote a distorted reality of motherhood, compared with which other “normal” mums feel inadequate? And can it backfire on the parents when children’s rights in the digital era are not honoured? “Children tend to be frustrated or critical of the way their parents share images of them,” says Professor Sonia Livingstone, from the department of media and communications at the London School of Economics and Political Science. “Not because they are made to seem ‘perfect’ but because they can be embarrassed, even shamed, in the eyes of their peers. Meanwhile, parents feel hugely under pressure in many ways, both to be perfect parents and also because such images leave parents competing with each other and isolated in their own seemingly inadequate lives.” Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon is the founder of leading addictions clinic Start2Stop, and a psychologist in private practice at Chelsea Recovery Associates. He says that in his 20-year career as a psychologist, he’s “never had a parent sit in front of him and say ‘I’m addicted to Instagram,’” but that’s not because social media addiction doesn’t exist. He puts it largely down to “denial” – “not least since the use of social media can involve so many of the processes that usually characterise classic alcohol or drug addiction”. Denial being the number one culprit. “Obvious ones might be obsession, compulsion, capture of attentional focus and loss of control,” he says. “More subtly, social media use can involve the same sort of self-medication, or escape from reality, that addiction offers – and being a parent is hard. That’s why drifting into a fantasy land can be a relief from the daily grind of motherhood.” Parenting expert Hannah Keeley – aka “America’s #1 Mom Coach” – is more upbeat about mums posting potentially inauthentic photos of their kids. “The hardest truth to accept is that there are some mums who are actually professionalising motherhood to this level,” she says. “Not that they have achieved perfection, but they take pride in their performance as mums and use social media as a way to confirm that to themselves and boost their confidence to encourage their efforts. Should these mums also be obligated to ensure that all mums feel good about themselves, whether or not they have invested in their career to this level? Mums don’t have to be responsible for other mums’ perceptions.” After great debate and reflection, I’ve decided I’m happy with my Insta posts. They might be driven by my background, where my sister and I ran around in white nightdresses as if we had starring roles in Picnic at Hanging Rock. Or because I was conditioned to believe that how we look – even how thin we were – equalled self-worth. I’m not setting myself up to be a supermum. I don’t look at how many likes I get. It’s true that us mums also need to share our parenting experiences honestly, to let other mums know they are not alone. But for now, I’m not doing a U-turn – I’m just living the fairytale dream. Read More My daughter’s horsey hobby makes her happy, but our home now hums If poachers make the best gamekeepers, do siblings make the best babysitters? Mother’s song about how easy it is to be ‘such a good dad’ goes viral Will an adaptogen a day keep the doctor away this winter? Naomi Watts admits mid-thirties menopause felt like ‘the end of my worth’ Smoking causes 150 cancer cases every single day in UK, study finds

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Anne Hathaway arrived at the inaugural Albie Awards in an iconic look: A Versace gown that was first worn by Claudia Schiffer at this year’s Milan Fashion Week. On 28 September, the actor, 40, was one of many stars that attended the awards ceremony, which is hosted by Amal and George Clooney’s organisation, The Clooney Foundation For Justice, and is “a homage to those whose fearless devotion to human rights deserves admiration and support”. For the occasion, Hathaway wore the floor-length dress, which features a green and metallic checkerboard design print. The look also featured a green lace neckline and thin spaghetti straps. For accessories, she opted for a silver pendant necklace, bracelets, and earrings, paired with matching silver heels, while she chose to wear her hair in a half-up half-down style. Earlier this month, the dress by Donatella Versace first debuted at Milan Fashion Week, when Schiffer walked the runway in the outfit. Similar to the Princess Diaries star, the German supermodel wore the dress with a pair of silver heels. In an Instagram post shared by Vogue and Versace, the two brands celebrated the launch of the dress, as well as Schiffer’s appearance on the runway. “Today during #MilanFashionWeek, @donatella_versace debuted her spring 2024 collection to a star-studded audience. One of the most special guests? Legendary supermodel @claudiaschiffer, who closed the show wearing a dazzling green gown,” Vogue wrote in the caption of the post, which included a video of Schiffer during the event. This isn’t Schiffer’s first time working with Versace. Back in 2017, she walked the runway for the brand’s spring show at Milan Fashion Week with fellow modelling legends Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Carla Bruni, and Helena Christensen. For the occasion, the group of models all wore matching sheer, gold dresses. Meanwhile, Hathaway has continued to work with the luxury fashion brand, as she revealed in April that she is the face of Versace’s Icons collection campaign. Along with sharing snaps of herself for the brand on Instagram, she also explained how she first heard about the campaign idea from the fashion designer. “When the brilliant and talented @donatella_versace approached me for this campaign, she shared her vision of a timeless collection with the trademark @versace edge,” the actor wrote on Instagram in April. “She said she wanted to focus on pieces designed to be a cherished part of one’s wardrobe, enjoyed outside the trend cycle, worn again and again throughout your life.” As part of the campaign, Hathaway and Donatella Versace also hosted the Versace Icons Dinner in New York City earlier this week. According to an Instagram post shared by the luxury fashion house, the dinner was a celebration of icons who are “rising up from all corners of the globe and representing a broad spectrum of cultures, industries, identities and ethnicities”. “Icons are artists, entrepreneurs, actors, human rights advocates, musicians, creatives and ambassadors of social change,” the brand wrote. “Icons are storytellers, driven by passion, purpose and a desire to connect and share. Icons emerge from the most unexpected of circumstances. Their success lies in their ability to transform the everyday into the extraordinary, to use their voices and platforms confidently and for good.” The evening also consisted of a star-studded guest list, which included Ariana DeBose, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Cindy Crawford, Helena Christensen, and Rachel Brosnahan. Read More Anne Hathaway shares honest response to fans who say she looks ‘really good’ for her age Anne Hathaway says Gen Z has been her style inspiration Every film and TV series that’s allowed to continue production during SAG-AFTRA strikes Anne Hathaway shares honest response to fans who say she looks ‘good’ for her age Travis Kelce wears ‘1989’ inspired outfit after leaving NFL game with Taylor Swift This is how your make-up needs change as you age

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Pamela Anderson has revealed why she didn’t wear any makeup while attending Paris Fashion Week. The actor, 56, spoke candidly about the decision during a recent video interview with Vogue France, filmed while she was getting ready for the Vivienne Westwood show during fashion week. As she was moisturising her face and looking at the camera, she said that while she didn’t plan on attending the show without makeup, she had a change of heart when putting on her outfits during the week. “I didn’t come to Paris Fashion Week and think: ‘I’m not going to wear any makeup,’” she said. “I don’t know, something just kind of came over me. And I was just dressing in these beautiful clothes, and I thought: ‘I don’t want to compete with the clothes.’ I’m not trying to be the prettiest girl in the room.” The Baywatch alum continued to describe how she felt when she didn’t wear makeup to fashion events, adding: “I feel like it’s just a freedom. It’s like a relief.” The Vogue France video continued with Anderson wearing her outfit to Westwood’s show – a brown dress with a large matching hat – while noting that she “doesn’t have a stylist” for these events. “I don’t have a glam team,” she said. “I’m just kind of doing this freestyle.” She went on to document her laid-back process of getting ready, noting that it was “almost noon and the show’s at 1pm”. “I let my hair dry naturally, and I just put on some moisturiser because I am not into the makeup look right now,” she said, before recalling how her mother once told her that “at some point” in life, she’s not going to want to “wear makeup on [her] skin”. After noting that her mother “was right,” Anderson explained how she’s continued to “challenge” the meaning of beauty by choosing not to wear makeup. “If we all chase youth or we’re chasing our idea of what beauty is in fashion magazines and everything, we’re only going to be disappointed and maybe a little bit sad,” she said. She also confessed that she’s sometimes worried about going makeup-free to events. However, Anderson said that during those times of concern, she’s asked herself: “What am I worried about? Am I worried about what people think, how I look?” She then shared the reminder that she gives herself when she doesn’t wear makeup, explaining: “This is the time for me to kind of be, again, probably a little rebellious.” Anderson then acknowledged that, throughout her years in the spotlight, she’s been encouraged to set an example of what beauty means, which is another reason why she doesn’t wear makeup. She also expressed that she’s grateful for the different opportunities she’s had in life, before emphasising that she’s “comfortable” with who she is. “I also feel as a woman, and as a woman my age and a woman in the public eye, I just kind of think: ‘It’s also your job to be a model of everything, all sorts of choices,’” she said. “So I am just being me. You know, my kind of who I am in, all of these great clothes, running around Paris. So I’m very lucky.” The model concluded: “I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my own skin. It’s what’s inside the clothes that counts, and I think beauty comes from within. And I know it sounds cliché, but I love clichés.” Earlier this week, Anderson also made headlines when Jamie Lee Curtis first applauded her for not wearing any makeup, while making an appearance at fashion week. “THE NATURAL BEAUTY REVOLUTION HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN! @pamelaanderson in the middle of fashion week with so many pressures and postures, and and and, this woman showed up and claimed her seat at the table with nothing on her face,” the Freaky Friday star wrote on Instagram, along with a snap of Anderson in a yellow dress. “I am so impressed and floored by this act of courage and rebellion.” In the comments of the post, many famous faces also went on to praise Anderson, with Chelsea Handler writing: “That’s pretty iconic.” Selma Blair also added: “Love this. Beautiful self-assuredness.” Last month, Anderson confessed to Elle that, after her makeup artist, Alexis Vogel, tragically passed away from breast cancer, she started going makeup-free to most events. “She was the best. And since then, I just felt, without Alexis, it’s just better for me not to wear makeup,” she explained. However, Anderson also doubled down on how the makeup-free look has been “freeing, and fun, and a little rebellious too”, adding: “Because I did notice that there were all these people doing big makeup looks, and it’s just like me to go against the grain and do the opposite what everyone’s doing.” The model went on to note that as she’s continued to age, she’s still happy with how her physical appearance has changed in the process. “I think we all start looking a little funny when we get older. And I’m kind of laughing at myself when I look at the mirror. I go: ‘Wow, this is really...what’s happening to me?’ It’s a journey,’” she said. “I feel rooted for. I feel good. I’m in a good place.” Read More Jamie Lee Curtis applauds Pamela Anderson for going makeup free at Paris Fashion Week Pamela Anderson reveals why she plans to sell ‘all’ her old clothes – including iconic Baywatch swimsuit Pamela Anderson shares heartbreaking reason she’s ditching makeup Jamie Lee Curtis applauds Pamela Anderson for going makeup free at Paris Fashion Week Millennials explain to Gen-Z how to rock ballet flats Crocs announces the launch of new cowboy boots to mixed reactions

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