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Coming out can be hard at any age, but by the time you’re well into adulthood it may feel terrifying, and be completely life-changing. Many people who come out in their thirties and onwards may have wanted to for a long time but not felt safe enough to do so. As October 11 marks National Coming Out Day, it’s important to reflect on how, if and when people can share their authentic selves. “I wasn’t raised in a time when it felt safe to express attraction to women,” says author and creative mentor Fiona Fletcher Reid, who came out last year at the age of 35. “I wasn’t sure about my sexuality until I had psychosexual therapy and was able to explore all the layers of internalised homophobia and repression that I had accumulated over my 35 years,” she says. So, how you can support someone who is going through it? Don’t assume everyone is the same Not every person’s coming out looks the same, and some LGBTQ+ experiences are not universal. “Coming out is a personal experience and because it is often physically and emotionally dangerous to be openly queer, lots of people never feel able to be open,” says Fletcher Reid, now 36. “Some people might feel free to come out once they have ended a particular relationship, or after meeting people who they feel safe around. “For others, like me, it’s that we don’t consciously acknowledge our sexuality until we are a lot older and have the confidence to work through the emotional implications and real-life consequences that come with that,” The writer, from Glasgow, was going through a divorce at the time with a man she’d been with since the age of 17. “During therapy, I talked a lot about the pain I was experiencing during intercourse as well as my general anxiety around sex. It wasn’t until I’d built up a trusting relationship with my therapist that I felt able to discuss the fact that I thought I might be gay and I did not expect that to come up, so I was just as surprised as everyone else when I came out.” Don’t question their authenticity Validate what the person who has come out is saying. “Don’t say, ‘Are you sure?’ because you can rest assured that the person coming out to you has thought long and hard about this,” says Fletcher Reid. “Casting self-doubt on someone when they have opened up a vulnerable part of themselves to you is hurtful.” Don’t question them about their sex life It’s no one else’s business. “Please don’t ask about whether they have been intimate with anyone, or any other sort of suggestion that they need to ‘prove’ their sexuality to you,” she stresses. Consider what they feel and accept that it is a big deal They are probably feeling “a mix of emotions, including excited, happy, empowered and scared for their safety”, says Fletcher Reid. “Sadly coming out can still cause huge ruptures in relationships so be aware that this is a huge moment for them and comes with real consequences. “Dismissing their experience as ‘not a big deal’ because you think it’s ‘normal to be gay’ now is a dangerous and false narrative.” It may sound simple, but just listening and supporting them is vital. “Be there to listen and try to celebrate all the new things that they are exploring as they come out, whether that’s dating, meeting new people or finding ways to experiment with their identity through fashion,” says Fletcher Reid. “Repeat often that you love and care for them and that you accept this evolution of them, that you are happy to see them happy.” Suggest they find community “Encourage them to talk to other people who have been through similar experiences if you can,” she says. “As much as friends and family want to understand what they are going through, it is far more validating to talk to someone else who has come out later in life and understands the emotional intricacies of the experience. “They can also hopefully show them that there are good times ahead.” Thank them for sharing with you “It is a privilege that someone trusts you with coming out, especially later in life. Tell them that you are honoured to have been trusted with this information, and reassure them that you will keep it private until they are ready to tell other people,” Fletcher Reid suggests. “The best reactions that I had from people were seeing their joy that I had discovered this important part of myself, and that had a huge impact on my ability to feel hopeful amidst the pain caused by my divorce. “Allowing them to feel conflicted and guilty and offering reassurance that they have the right to be themselves will make them feel so much happier.” Read More Israel-Hamas conflict: How to talk to teenagers about distressing news stories Autumn décor ideas for a seasonal refresh Why you shouldn’t tidy your garden too much in autumn World Mental Health Day: 5 ways to beat anxiety and change your life Alternative veg to grow for next season How to spot if your child is struggling with their mental health – and what to do next

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For the last couple of weeks, the buzz surrounding Greta Gerwig’s new live-action film has transformed the world into “Barbie land”, as fashion fans embrace the film-inspired fads and obsess over Margot Robbie’s odes to vintage Mattel dolls on the red carpet. Between pink gowns, fur trims, polka dots, and kitten heels, Barbie has become the official summer wear trendsetter – and it’s fantastic. In preparation for the upcoming premiere on 21 July, eager TikTokers are manifesting the perfect, pink-themed party by crafting “Barbiecore” looks that they plan on wearing in theatres. While some are opting to thrift or buy new clothes, others are pulling pieces they already own to reimagine themselves as “country Barbie,” “roller skating Barbie,” or “cottage Barbie.” Popular influencer Jenny Nguyen (@jennyxngyn) brought her followers along with her as she perused a second-hand store for anything vibrant and pink. She stuck to her high standards when she tossed a lace-trimmed tank to the side because it wasn’t “Barbie cute.” However, a baby pink denim skirt and jersey T-shirt with the film’s title spraypainted across the chest stole her heart. The style enthusiast chopped the bottoms to be a “micro mini skirt” and completed the look with matching platform sandals. “This is my outfit for the Barbie movie,” she proclaimed. Commenters couldn’t believe her luck with finding the branded T-shirt. “That Barbie top!! No way,” a stunned woman wrote, while another agreed: “The Barbie shirt is perfect.” Jenny replied: “Omg, I know right!! My jaw literally dropped to the ground after seeing it.” @jennyxngyn what are you guys wearing to the Barbie movie??? #barbiemovieoutfits #allpinkoutfit #whatimwearing #barbiecore #outfitinspo ♬ original sound - Jenny Nguyen Cassi (@cassiscastle) on TikTok headed to Gap to try-on pieces from the brand’s collection for the movie. From pink and white pinstriped button-downs to logo-printed sweatshirts, tank tops, and skirts, the store was filled with viable options to wear. “This new Barbie x Gap collection is way too cute,” Cassi remarked. In a different video, the fashion lover switched between formalwear Barbie looks and casual daytime outfits with a sweet silk slip, pink crop tops, and heart-shaped sunglasses. @cassiscastle this new barbie x gap collection is way too cute!! wanted to try on my favorite items from the collection ??? #barbie #barbiemovies #barbieoutfits #tryonhaul ♬ Hi Barbie Hi Ken Barbie Movie Only In Theaters - Barbie Movie Since Warner Bros began promotions for the new film in April 2022, other brands like Zara and Crocs have hopped on the dreamhouse bus and sold-out new collections motivated by the Barbie aesthetic. Meanwhile, Maddy (@madisonhoward59) requested the help of her followers in choosing from the three outfits she created using clothes from her closet. The creator channeled the current Y2K fashion fixation with pops of pink detailing with a tight-fitting tank, halter top, and printed tube skirt. Women aren’t the only ones preparing ahead of the film’s release. TikToker @Beerrenicee proved that aspiring Kens were also readying themselves to watch Barbie on the big screen. In her 17 July video, she brought her boyfriend shopping to find a pink shirt for the premiere. “Making my boyfriend buy a pink shirt for the barbie movie so we can both pull up in pink outfits,” her caption read. The pair landed on a short-sleeve collared option. @beerrenicee He said ???? #fyp ♬ Barbie World (with Aqua) [From Barbie The Album] - Nicki Minaj & Ice Spice & Aqua One impressed viewer said: “If I had a man I would def do this and I’m being for real like bae we both matching I don’t care.” “I got my man a peach shirt at Ross and he actually like it which I’m surprised with,” a fellow girlfriend admitted. Another woman wrote: “Mine didn’t wanna wear pink so he’s wearing light blue for Ken.” “Already got my shirt, I just need someone to go with,” one man looking for his dream girl noted. Read More Issa Rae admits she ‘hates’ pink and plans to ‘burn’ her Barbie-inspired clothes Margot Robbie has fangirl moment over Love Island stars Ekin-Su, Davide and Liberty Barbie-inspired decor to get your pink fix at home Barbie premiere: All the best pink carpet looks as Margot Robbie film shows in London Michael Cera twinned with Ryan Gosling at Barbie premiere for sweet reason Fans can’t get enough of Barbie’s already sold-out collaboration with Crocs