Welcome to Refinery29’s Why I Do It, a series where we ask inspirational, successful people 29 questions about what fuels them on and off the clock. Because, let’s face it: life is about so much more than chasing inbox zero.

A man has revealed how he learning his brother used to date his wife of 20 years. In a post to Reddit's "Am I A**hole?" forum, the husband detailed how he found out the earth-shattering news from his sister-in-law at a family dinner. "My (50 ish m) wife (50 ish f) has been married 20+ years. My brother’s (45-ish m) wife (45-ish f) recently disclosed at a family dinner that my brother had a date(s) with my wife several weeks before we started dating. I never knew," he began. "They kept it a secret all these years. I realise it is ancient history, but we have had our marriage issues like every couple over the years. "I feel pain, violated, and almost irrationally angry that this 'secret' was common knowledge in my family, but I was clueless," and added that he is unsure how physical their relationship was but his sister-in-law implied "they were intimate" "My wife and I already sleep apart. I am thinking of ending it with her over this. I was a fool for half my life to everyone close to me. I feel like they are all a**holes. From my parents (who said they thought I knew) to my siblings who all knew, I want no contact (at least for a while)." Since sharing this issue, people have been providing their opinions on the situation with most agreeing that the husband is not the a**hole in this situation but his brother and wife are for keeping this secret all these years. One person said: "NTA but if I heard your story, I would never think that you were the fool or think anything badly of you. I would think badly of all the people who knew but said nothing. So don’t feel like a fool - that would be you letting your insecurities get the better of you." "I think you need to determine if you are upset that they didn't tell you, or upset that she potentially slept with your brother prior to you dating 20 years ago," another person wrote. "You're NTA for being upset regardless, but figuring out the 'why' will help you move forward from here. Don't be so quick to throw 20+ years of marriage down the drain." Someone else added: "Man I don't even know what I would do if my partner slept with my sister and I get to know about it after 20 years.... I would feel embarrassed and betrayed. this sucks." "NTA. The whole family disrespected you and made you feel like a fool. Don’t let them try to minimize your feelings," a fourth person commented. "It’s not one lie from 20 years ago. It’s hundreds of lies by omission at every holiday, every wedding, every funeral, every family dinner." Sign up to our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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The state of Florida is asking the U.S. Supreme Court to block lower court rulings that prohibit the enforcement of a new law targeting drag shows

July 31 is National Orgasm Day, and we've never been more ready to celebrate. The day is all about celebrating and educating the masses about female pleasure (which is something we can absolutely get behind). For example, did you know that over 50% of people with vulvas have reported faking their orgasms? Tons of factors play into the pleasure gap (mental pressures, lack of sexual education, performance anxiety, etc.), but a great way to combat those factors is...you guessed it...masturbation — especially learning what makes your clitoris feel good. Taking the time to figure out your body's turn-ons (and turn-offs!) is the surest way to unlock the knowledge you need to get you to the big O (both solo and with a partner).

Women are being invited to share their experiences of periods, pregnancy and the menopause to shape the future of healthcare for females in England. The Women’s Reproductive Health Survey will help the Government better understand reproductive health and ensure services meet their needs. It forms part of the Women’s Health Strategy, which was launched in 2022. The 10-year blueprint will aim to tackle disparities in women’s health and ensure services “listen to women’s voices”. Women’s health ambassador Professor Dame Lesley Regan said: “We need to make healthcare work for women and girls – and for it to fit around their lives. “There’s no point bolstering services if they can’t be accessed, or the support available doesn’t work for them and meet their needs.” Women have previously described difficulties accessing reproductive health services. Often health services are not ‘joined up’, leading to multiple visits and appointment delays Dr Rebecca French Questions included in the Women’s Reproductive Health Survey will centre on period pains, how women prefer to access contraceptive services and the levels of support received for menopausal symptoms. It is open to women aged 16 to 55 in England and will run for six weeks from September 7. Dr Rebecca French, an associate professor of sexual and reproductive health research at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, said women should be able to “make informed decisions about their own reproductive health and wellbeing”. “For most women, it can be nearly 40 years from their first period to menopause. “Women have previously described difficulties accessing reproductive health services, for example, to get contraceptive supplies, to access fertility treatment or to obtain an appointment with a gynaecologist. Often health services are not ‘joined up’, leading to multiple visits and appointment delays. “We know that poor reproductive health not only has a negative effect on health in general but can also impact women’s mental health, relationships and finances. “Further research is needed to better understand inequalities across England so that women and people described as female at birth are able to make the choices they need for their own reproductive health and wellbeing.” Maria Caulfield, the minister for the Women’s Health Strategy, added: “Women and girls deserve the best healthcare at every stage of their lives, but we simply can’t deliver that without listening to their lived experiences and concerns. “Women should always have a say in their own healthcare, whether that’s in managing pregnancy and fertility or dealing with the challenges of the menopause in the workplace. “I would encourage every woman to complete the survey on reproductive health as soon as they’re able and ensure their voice is heard.” Other measures included in the Women’s Health Strategy are funding to set up women’s health hubs across England and a new online tool on gov.uk for people to access easily information about IVF in their local areas. Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live 4 key activewear trends for autumn workouts How to style your home like a professional One in 10 ‘spending beyond their means’ – try these 7 cutbacks guaranteed to save families money

Max Verstappen has become just the fifth driver in Formula 1 history to clinch the world title on a Saturday – and the first in 40 years. The Dutchman, who has won every grand prix bar three this season, sealed his third straight world title after Sergio Perez crashed in the sprint race at the Qatar Grand Prix on Saturday, leaving his team-mate nable to catch him with six races and two sprints to go. Verstappen has been unstoppable throughout 2023 and, despite his dislike of the sprint race format, secured his 2023 crown in the 100km dash around the Lusail International Circuit on Saturday night. It marks the end of a streak dating back to 1983 of drivers clinching the world title on a Sunday, the traditional day of a grand prix race. The last title-clincher on a Saturday was Nelson Piquet in 1983, who won the championship at the season finale in South Africa – with the grand prix held at Kyalami on a Saturday. The two previous winners – Piquet in 1981 and Keke Rosberg in 1982 – also claimed the title on a Saturday, with both seasons concluding at the Caesars Palace Grand Prix in Las Vegas, held on a Saturday. Prior to that, British driver Graham Hill secured the 1962 world title at the South African Grand Prix in East London, again on a Saturday. And 1959 champion Jack Brabham sealed his moment of victory on a Saturday too, at the United States Grand Prix, then held in Sebring, Florida. Saturday night racing, as well as the six sprint races this season, is making a return for a full grand prix next month as Las Vegas hosts the highly-anticipated street race on the famous strip at 10pm local time on Saturday 18 November. The 2024 season will also start with two Saturday night races – in Bahrain and Saudi Arabia – due to Ramadan. Sunday is considered a “feast day” during the Islamic festival, which sees the world’s almost two-billion Muslims fast between sunrise and sunset during the other six days of the week. Read More Piastri takes first F1 pole for Qatar sprint as Verstappen starts third F1 Qatar Grand Prix LIVE: Sprint race updates and results at Lusail Lance Stroll shoves personal trainer and gives furious seven-word interview in Qatar

Adam Thomas has admitted that he’s “struggling” and in “pain” after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis ahead of his appearance on Strictly Come Dancing. The Waterloo Road star is one of the 15 celebrities preparing to put themselves to the test as they compete on the 21st series of dance competition series Strictly. Just days after it was announced that he had joined the cast, Thomas shared on his 35th birthday that he had recently been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. An autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis is a long-term condition that causes pain, swelling and stiffness in the joints. It usually affects the hands, feet and wrists and can cause flare-up periods where symptoms become worse for a period of time. On Sunday (3 September), the former Coronation Street star posted a shirtless selfie to Instagram following a swimming session. Writing in the caption, Thomas said that he was posting the image “to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable”. “Am not in the best shape of my life, but I could be worse,” he wrote. “This year has been tough there’s no doubt about that… but I’ve just got to stay focused now! I’m still struggling and the pain is still there but I’m putting on a brave face I’ve got to stay strong [sic]!” Thomas continued: “Swimming helps me so much with my arthritis, I mean as much as it kills me getting my top off and going for a swim, I know it’s helping me and I know it’s also helping me deal with the issues I’ve got with me and my body. Which is a good thing!” “Got a feeling am going to get a lot more out of the next few months than I bargained for [sic]! Let’s go!” Thomas announced that he had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis last month, explaining that he had “been in a lot of pain since January”. “It started with my knees and then travelled to my wrists, fingers and now ankles and toes,” he wrote. “I never knew what was happening and finally after several blood tests and back and forth to doctors and hospitals, I’ve been diagnosed with rheumatoid Arthritis!” The actor had originally said that he signed up for Strictly – which begins later this month – in order “to be able to move again, get fit and do it, all with a smile on my face”. Strictly Come Dancing returns in September on BBC One. Read More Kanye West and ‘wife’ Bianca Censori banned from Venice boat company after ‘obscenities’ on board Yellowstone season 5: Kevin Costner finally explains why he quit the show Fyre Fest 2.0? Chris Rock and Diplo escape Burning Man festival as 70,000 stranded in desert How to look after your joints, as women experience ‘significantly higher’ pain than men How can parents and children battle back-to-school anxiety? Khloe Kardashian officially changes son Tatum’s last name

The robot vacuum space is crowded, and Shark was very late to the party. Ever

Although it’s almost back-to-school time, it’s not too late to take advantage of the swathe of new hotels that have thrown open their doors this summer. Treating yourself to a smart domestic overnight somewhere fresh is the ultimate indulgence, and there’s plenty of choice when it comes to swanky stays. How about a 17th-century inn in Somerset, given a major facelift courtesy of a chef and gallerist team? Or a quirky new-kid-on-the-block in Northumberland with Alice in Wonderland-inspired interiors? Elsewhere, there’s a new city break option in Liverpool, where former council offices have been transformed into swish digs, while the storied Grade II-listed Bromley Old Town Hall has unveiled its next iteration as a co-working space, restaurant and design-led hotel. And in the Lake District, a much-loved Cumbrian inn near Ullswater has been given the full VIP treatment after being gutted by a fire, reopening to much fanfare and featuring achingly stylish rooms. Here’s our pick of the coolest new openings to inspire your next night away. Read more on UK travel: Best spa hotels in London: Where to stay to chill out in style The best UK holiday destinations for families Best affordable hotels in Cornwall The Tempus at Charlton Hall Estate, Northumberland While visitors to Northumberland are spoilt for choice when it comes to smart self-catering digs, there aren’t heaps of boutique hotels to choose from. So, hurrah for more-is-more wedding venue Charlton Hall Estate which has added a 15-room boutique number, The Tempus, to the grounds. The mood is full-throttle exuberance, with light-hearted decor by Jeffreys Interiors that loosely riffs on Alice in Wonderland. In the bar a canopy of crimson leaves hangs above turquoise booth seating, lined by found-on-the-estate branches, bathed in glittery, disco ball light. The adjoining restaurant, reached by passing under antique Indian arches, is all sorbet shades and rattan lampshades; it’s cool enough to attract a cocktail-quaffing crowd, and pretty enough to bring your granny for a Sunday roast. The menu spans classics – fish and chips, burgers and Shepherd’s pie – through moreish arancini with curry mayo, and girolle mushroom gnocchi. Bedrooms each have talking-point design, with palettes ranging from sage and coral through crimson and ochre, wallpapers depicting cranes streaking through jungle scenes, and riotously fun furniture, from leopard-print scallop-backed to monochrome-hooded Porters chairs. As for exploring, Alnwick Castle and gardens are 10 minutes’ drive, and Seahouses – for boat trips around the Farne Islands – is about a half an hour by car. Here, Serenity Farne Island Boat Tours, which scooped Gold in the 2023 Experience of the Year at the VisitEngland Awards for Excellence, provide fascinating commentary to accompany jaw-dropping wildlife, including chunky grey seals and puffin colonies. Rooms from £232, B&B; Charltonhall.co.uk The Three Horseshoes, Batcombe, Somerset In recent years, the opening of Hauser & Wirth and country house charmer The Newt – and its glorious gardens – have led south Somerset to gain a reputation as the Notting Hill of the West Country. Now, acclaimed chef Margot Henderson (of Rochelle Canteen fame) and gallerist Max Wigram have breathed new life into an 17th-century inn in Batcombe – 15 minutes from Bruton – adding further magnetism. It’s easy to see why Henderson (who has friends living nearby) fell in love with the area. Batcombe is all vintage chocolate box scenery, with a gargoyle-adorned 15th-century church, sweeps of stone cottages by riverside paths where wildflowers grow, and light that dances like a golden sprite across the surrounding hills. Just next to the church, kids scramble barefoot along salvia and rose-lined paths in The Three Horseshoes’ revamped garden, as punters sip smooth Psychopomp Wōden Gin on its parasol-lined sun terrace. Inside, the pared-back dining space has newly exposed flagstone flooring, wooden Georgian furniture, an inglenook fireplace and art from Wigram’s collection. Food – whipped up by head chef Nye Smith (Henderson is in the kitchen two to three days a week) – is earthy and unpretentious; think Porthilly Rock oysters, globe artichoke with tangy vinaigrette, homely aubergine parmigiana finished with made-down-the-road Westcombe Cheddar and rabbit pie served by staff who brim with enthusiasm. Breakfasts are a pleasing spread featuring poached eggs, roasted tomatoes, yoghurt with apricots and local apple juice. Five bedrooms upstairs, designed by Frances Penn, feature comfy beds topped with Tile linens and cream Piglet in Bed throws, bamboo-framed hummingbird prints, stout antique furnishings – sourced from the likes of Somerset-based Ralfes Yard – traditional armchairs and tree trunk slice tables. Contemporary-feel white terracotta-tiled bathrooms – with walk-in showers or deep bathtubs – are stocked with Wildsmith toiletries. Rooms from £220, B&B; Threehorseshoes.co.uk George and Dragon, Lake District Also set to make a comeback, this time over in the Lake District, is the George and Dragon near Penrith – not far from picturesque Ullswater. Owned by the Lowther family, and part of the Askham Collection, which includes swish Askham Hall, this much-loved Cumbrian inn has been closed for a year after a fire gutted the property. Now completely refurbished, it’s back and looking better than ever. Ten stylish bedrooms, designed by Totty Lowther – who has a background in textile design – feature the likes of paisley-patterned wallpaper and tulip prints alongside antique furniture and artwork from the family’s collection. Bramley toiletries and coffee and tea from Farrers in Kendal ramp up the luxe level, and – handily for those travelling with a pooch in tow – all rooms are dog-friendly, and staff go above and beyond to make them welcome (they even get their own welcome pack with treats and a suggested list of local rambles). Another highlight is the back-in-swing kitchen restaurant, where the wine list champions bottles sourced from small, family-run vineyards and a field-to-fork approach sees foraged and locally grown produce take centrestage in head chef Gareth Webster’s ricotta and wild garlic agnolotti, market fish with samphire, Lowther Estate ‘deer in blankets’ with fermented rhubarb ketchup, and fruity crumbles. Rooms from £150, B&B; Georgeanddragon.co.uk The Barnsdale, Rutland For their third act, hitmakers The Signet Collection – behind The Mitre and The Retreat at Elcot Park – have turned their attention to the Midlands, making over Oakham’s Barnsdale Lodge. With a new name, The Barnsdale, interior design delivers the playful, classy elegance Signet have become known for, but feels a little more restrained and grown up than in previous properties, perhaps to ensure appeal to the regulars – walking groups, fishing enthusiasts and birders – who’ve been coming here for donkey’s years. In The Rod Room, vintage fishing rods and reels decorate the walls – in homage to nearby Rutland Water’s brown trout – and diners settle in to orange banquettes and gentle fern-toned chairs to enjoy the likes of Ronnie Kimbugwe’s cult cauliflower with sticky teriyaki, and stuffed chocolate bombolini. A flagstone-floored Orangery looks out to a rambling rose-draped courtyard, with Whispering Angel cabin. Smart-as-a-pin staff are on hand to give the welly-and-walks crowd route tips, and offer menu recommendations in the celebratory-feel 1760 restaurant – where bursting-with-flavour tomato gazpacho, lamb rump with harissa yoghurt, beetroot carpaccio and pesto tagliatelle are served. Bedrooms are reassuringly stylish, bringing together appealing colour-pop palettes, frill-edged headboards, bespoke Bramley toiletries and complimentary decanters of King’s Ginger. Stripey-walled family rooms have cute bunk beds for little ones, while the Fort Henry Suite has a copper bathtub, robin-run-the-hedge adorned wallpaper, and canopied bed. Days can be spent playing leisurely rounds of croquet on the lawn, or whizzing around Rutland Water by ebike (the hotel will soon have a fleet), stopping off at Rutland Nature Reserve for a rare bird fix at the renowned Rutland Osprey Project. Plus, later this year, the property will open a spa, with indoor-outdoor swimming pool. The Municipal Hotel Liverpool - MGallery, Liverpool Cast eyes to Liverpool, and there’s another hotel crossing heritage good looks with a fresh identity to discover. The former council offices on Dale Street have been reimagined to the tune of £60m into a 179-room hotel by big-hitting brand MGallery. Retaining its sandstone bones and iconic clock tower – a skyline stalwart which is as recognisable as Radio City Tower and the Liver Birds – the property’s light-filled Palm Court Bar is already proving popular. With gleaming pillars, palm trees, jewel-hued chairs and mixologists shaking up tea-infused cocktails, it’s added a touch of Gatsby to the city centre. For a more genteel afternoon tea experience there’s the Botanical Tea Room, while meat-and-seafood-heavy Seaforth restaurant has dishes which riff on the city’s historic trading connections with land and sea: roasted wild salmon with mussel broth and surf’n’turf, alongside cauliflower beignets and truffle chips. Parquetry-panelled corridors and original staircases lead to 179 bedrooms (nine of which are accessible) with padded William Morris & Co floral headboards, retro phones and midnight blue-tiled bathrooms with rainforest showers. Guests can access a restful 16m pool, salt sauna, steam room, laconium, experience shower and petite gym for a £30 fee, and book relaxing therapies by Elemis and Grown Alchemist. Brama, Bromley Grade II-listed Bromley Old Town Hall has had quite the history – playing host to David Bowie’s nuptials in days gone by – and its latest incarnation has seen it transformed into a mixed-use co-working space, restaurant and design-led 23 bedroom hotel. Brama has the feel of a convenient aparthotel and will appeal to business travellers after a fuss-free and comfortable stay. Although there are staff on site, contactless check in via a key code is possible for guests who want to keep themselves to themselves. Art Deco-inspired bedrooms are a thing of beauty, with geometric mirrors, ultra comfy Hypnos beds dressed with snuggly coral throws, and apple-coloured flared panel headboards, which match the bold green tiling in Bramley-stocked shower rooms. For those working late, in-room caffeine hits come courtesy of carbon-negative roasters Kiss the Hippo. Breakfasts can be taken downstairs in Dorothy & Marshall restaurant (other than on Mondays when there’s a grab and go option), where Brit fare is served in the grand surrounds of the former courthouse, which has picture gallery walls, arched windows and wood-panelling aplenty. Come lunch and supper time, a concise Brit-fare menu includes the likes of roasted cauliflower steak, artichoke puff pastry tart, fish’n’chips and burgers followed by trad favourites jam roll poly or treacle tart. Location-wise, Bromley’s High Street is on the doorstep, and its train stations are an easy walk. The hotel is a quick bus ride to Beckenham Place Park for leafy strolls, stone baked pizza and halloumi wraps from the Homestead Cafe, and bookable dips in the park’s swimming pond. Read more of our best UK hotel reviews Read More Best UK hotels 2022 Best luxury hotels in Scotland for 2022 Family-friendly hotels in the UK for style, location and value 8 of the best boutique hotels in The Cotswolds for a charming break The Landmark London review Why you should swerve the airport and set sail for Northern Ireland instead

It was a matter of when, not if, Best Buy announced some conveniently scheduled counter-programming

Not even halfway through my rewatch of The Cheetah Girls, which premiered on August 15, 2003, I looked over at my husband whose “SMH” smirk had become increasingly visible. In typical husband fashion, he was pretending to not pay attention but was clearly at least mildly enthralled by the Disney Channel classic.