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A man was left “devastated” after finding out his wife had lied to him about their unborn baby’s gender. However, the internet seems to be taking her side. In a viral Reddit post shared to the popular r/AmItheA**hole forum, user u/Leading_Gene4976 questioned whether he overreacted after learning that his wife was having a baby girl, instead of a boy. The 32-year-old man explained that he had a “tumultuous” childhood and “always craved a strong male figure” growing up. “I never had that bond with my father and always envisioned having it with a son,” he wrote. “My wife was aware of this deep-rooted desire.” The husband shared that he missed his wife’s initial pregnancy appointments because he was often away on business trips. “These trips, though draining, are critical since I’m the only breadwinner, trying to ensure a different life for my child than I had,” he added. While he was away, his mother-in-law attended check-ups with his wife - who “excitedly” told him they were expecting a boy. “We invested emotionally and financially: a blue nursery, boy-themed items, even naming him after my late grandfather,” the husband said. However, that all came crashing down when his wife’s mother accidentally let slip that they were having a girl. “My wife admitted she knew from the beginning but didn’t tell me, thinking she was protecting my feelings. I was devastated, feeling the weight of past hurts and fresh betrayals,” he explained. “In my pain, I cleared out the nursery and, in a moment I regret, told her mother she wasn’t welcome at upcoming family events, seeing her as part of the deceit.” His outrage towards his mother-in-law prompted him to seek advice in the subreddit, where he admitted that he “acted out of deep-seated emotions and past traumas”. While the husband shared that he “regrets” lashing out, that didn’t stop more than 6,400 Reddit users from criticising him for his overreaction. “You very much did overreact in clearing out the nursery and disinviting her mother from coming over. This reaction is crazy and you talking about this pain and devastation surrounding having a girl is probably the reason she was afraid to tell you,” read the top comment. “She probably wants to be excited about this child and didn’t want to deal with you acting like it’s something devastating that it’s a girl.” “The fact that men are often disappointed by our very existence as women, even in utero, continues to highlight society’s s****y view of women. Sorry we exist? Sorry you think you can’t live out your Field of Dreams fantasies with us?” wrote another user. “She shouldn’t have lied, but it’s quite clear why she did.” Others believed that he was “projecting” his own expectations from his unhappy childhood onto his unborn child. “Also, you are projecting wayyyy too much on an unborn child,” added someone else. “What if you did have a boy, but he wasn’t as interested in this intense father-son relationship that you are craving? Can any real life father-son relationship actually even live up to the one in your head that is supposed to heal your past wounds?” Many people also called out the soon-to-be father for preferring his baby to be one gender over the other, rather than accepting his child for however they choose to identify. “If you’re not prepared to love a child regardless of gender identity, sexuality, their mental and physical health, you’re not ready to have a child,” commented one viewer. "Why would you pack up the nursery? You’re still having a baby. That baby will still need all the things in that nursery,” someone else wrote. “Maybe this is a good chance for you to reconsider your attitudes on sex and gender - because, spoiler alert, the baby doesn’t care what colour their clothes and blankets are.” In response to the backlash, the husband clarified that he would’ve “come to terms with it over time and embraced the idea of having a daughter”. “My main issue isn’t about the gender but the deception involved. I just wish [my wife] had been upfront with me from the beginning,” he explained. “Our soon to be daughter is everything to me. If we decide on more kids, there might be a part of me that’s quietly hoping for a boy,” he replied to someone else. This isn’t the first time a husband has been called out for his less than thrilled reaction to having a baby girl. In 2021, a viral TikTok video showed an expectant father standing alongside his wife and infant daughter as they popped a black balloon, which revealed several smaller pink balloons inside - indicating they were having a girl. However, he was criticised for his disappointed reaction to having another daughter. “Don’t worry. Your daughter won’t want you either,” one person wrote, while another person commented: “His daughter is going to be heartbroken when she sees this when she is older. Whatever biased opinions should disappear when you are having children.” Read More Bride asks for divorce a day after wedding due to groom’s cake prank Husband ‘ruins’ dinner because of his wife’s typo: ‘The worst kind of control freak’ Bride praised for kicking bridesmaid out of wedding after disagreement over dress colour Adele cries as she helps couple with their unborn baby’s gender reveal Baby’s baptism goes wrong in mother’s viral video Chrissy Teigen reveals her surrogate pumps breast milk for her and John Legend’s baby

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Another season of The Bear has arrived, and unfortunately for all of us who watched

I remember the day I realised the embodiment of my persona was a long-sleeve ironed shirt with only the collar close-lipped. Initially, I gravitated toward the crisp button-down for function, as my former workplace tended to emit heaps of chilly air, but a spontaneous feeling compelled me to button the top, leaving the rest of the shirt open. It may have been, in part, my obsession with wanting to define my look outside of popular construction or how this new silhouette framed my figure. Regardless, the androgynous piece of clothing left me feeling more confident than ever before. A clothing rack full of these formal tops sits perpendicular to my bed now, and I wear them strategically closed with almost every outfit. I couldn’t tell you exactly what it is about them that makes me feel alluring and powerful, but my style hasn’t been the same since. Now more than ever, women are setting aside archival forms of womenswear for the structure of men’s clothing, assuming their most confident, authentic selves. Mini denim shorts, bodycon dresses, and micro skirts are being swapped for baggy jorts and boxers. Individuals are donning contrasting proportions, taking risks, and exuding self-assurance in items that have historically been deemed representative of masculine codes in Western fashion. In doing so, women are diminishing the gap between gendered collections. According to Hazel Clark, professor of fashion studies at Parsons School of Design, women initiated the crossover between menswear and womenswear in the early 19th century when they started working in coal mines and riding horses. A working-class of women deliberately assumed the male dress code, whether business or activity related, because womenswear constricted their necessary movement with tight bodices and corded petticoats. Here, function and ability took precedent over society’s expectation of femininity as more opted to dirty a pair of trousers instead of their voluptuous gowns. Heading into the Second World War and the 20th century, the design gap minimised further when women’s roles in society advanced. In the 1940s, men were forced to leave their factory jobs for war, leaving their female counterparts to fill their positions. For women to be respected in the workplace, they mirrored the male look and wore the classic pantsuit. Francesca Granata, professor of fashion theory and history at Parsons, identified the “power suit of the 1980s” as “a classic instance of women trying to access men’s power in the workplace by wearing an outfit which imitated menswear and with wife shoulders: the ideal male physique.” She noted: “Yet the wide-shouldered suit jacket was often rendered appropriately feminine by being paired with a skirt.” With this came an influx of women wearing these masculine codes outside of the workplace. Though my grey dress pants from the men’s section of a closet sale were welcomed into my weekly rotation almost immediately, it took a lot of courage and self-assurance back then for women to wear similar pairs, just like it did for them to wear miniskirts when both styles were socially unacceptable. The initial need for “businesswear” transformed into desired style even if it meant a woman could be labeled as “inappropriate” or be refused at the door of an establishment. Looks from men turned to public disapproval, but that didn’t stop the progression of women dressing in menswear at all. “Although baggy clothing has been acceptable for men for quite some time, especially in the US, unlike older appropriation of menswear which were often adapted to be more skintight or revealing or somewhat rendered ‘feminine’ baggy clothes question the old dictum that women’s bodies should be on display for the male gaze,” Professor Granata remarked. In other words, this “sense of power dressing” left the confines of the office environment alongside any lingering thought to the heteronormative gaze. Fast forward to the early 21st century, when the groundwork for this fashion fusion had been laid in terms of utility and preference. As society began to understand sexuality and gender fluidity, non-gendered collections became increasingly popular. Designers became more proactive about creating androgynous clothing that didn’t need to be separated into the two typical identifiers: women and men. “Fashion must get to a point where we don’t have to talk about gender,” designer and creative director of Loewe Jonathan Anderson wrote in Amelia Anderson’s “What We Can Do Better” in 2021, nine years after he introduced the first transgender collection for his eponymous brand. “Fashion can be a way to experiment with character or to work out your identity, and I believe that clothes can have a protective role on a more emotional level.” Anderson’s obsession with how queer individuals dressed contributed to his perception that fashion can be used to “break the rules”. To him, clothing is a marker of individuality and subculture, which is what motivates him to create designs for people to express themselves free from outdated norms. Between boxy, textured T-shirts, bouncy blouses, and tailored high-waisted pants, Anderson’s worked to incorporate rival style cues even in his gender-specific collections. “Clothing is full of paradoxes, but ultimately it can empower us - and in a world that has historically taken power away from queer people, that can be vital,” he proclaimed. “In a world that often expects certain things for certain people when it comes to clothes - where society wants men, say, to wear some things, and women to wear others - I sometimes question why I do menswear and womenswear shows. But for me, it’s not about classifying people, it’s about using these categories as ideas - ideas to borrow from.” As designers helped bridge the gap, celebrities like Hailey Bieber and Bella Hadid have been seen being more experimental in campaigns for big name brands as well as in their personal street style. The 26-year-old Rhode Skin founder has been a recognised ambassador for the French fashion house, Yves-Saint Laurent, a company which has irrevocably impacted womenswear since their 1966 creation of a menswear-motivated tuxedo for women called “Le Smoking.” Both Bieber and Hadid blend feminine and masculine codes in everyday wear, leading the craze for oversized jean shorts and lengthy vintage sportswear paired with dainty ballet flats and platform boots. Other brands, such as Uniqlo and Thom Browne, design collections labelled and distributed as menswear and womenswear, but the items are still being bought and worn interchangeably. “It’s hard to explain,” Marissa Petteruti, senior menswear designer at Rag & Bone, tells The Independent when asked why she feels more assured in men’s clothing over feminine-labelled pieces. “I’ve always just felt more comfortable in, you know, oversized men’s shirts and pants. I kind of always have gravitated toward men’s fashion. I remember when I was a kid, my parents used to tell me: ‘You have to wear a skirt one day a week.’ I never saw why I couldn’t wear whatever I wanted. So maybe part of it became going against what my parents wanted me to do.” Petteruti has cultivated a closet full of suit pants, designer shirts, and vintage bomber jackets in pursuit of the perfect capsule wardrobe and collection of exclusive ready-to-wear. Ever since she attended the Parsons School of Design, pressure and expectation were absent from her style. Here, Petteruti was drawn to the serenity of menswear, and she appreciated the simplicity of its form more than women’s clothing. Her eyes wandered to streetwear brands such as Supreme and Hood-by-Air because the concept of a lux T-shirt intrigued her, and oversized pieces were pleasing. When she started at Rag & Bone, she learned that men’s tailoring was more extensive, but even so, the trends were ephemeral - meaning the pieces were inherently timeless. Womenswear detailing such as peplum cuts, scallop or lace trimming, floral embellishments, and sheer fabrics tend to cycle through seasonal collections more frequently than the stylistic choices and material preferences within menswear. The classic button-down may be presented in a specific range of colours depending on whether it’s fall or spring, but the shape and design stay the same. In other words, womenswear is more likely to follow suit with trends. Industry leaders and A-listers embracing a more avant-garde mindset in ready-to-wear and street style begs the question of whether brands will ever officially scrap the formal separation of womenswear and menswear. “Why do they have to be called ‘men’s clothing’? Just ‘cause you put the buttons on one side of the shirt and the fly on one side of the shirt and the reverse. It’s, it’s silly to me,” Petteruti agreed when asked if she thought the division was necessary. “I mean, the interesting thing about fashion now is at any given moment, it’s so diverse. We don’t all wear the same things to be in fashion. If we wanted to be in fashion, I mean, regardless of our sort of age or gender, you know, they’re like lots of different choices we can make, depending on the kind of the group we associate with or who we follow,” Clark explained. But Clark doesn’t believe concrete separation is on the horizon, due to the sizing and proportional differences between a man versus a woman. “Men’s and women’s bodies are different. You know, I mean, that’s part of it. Size and physique will prevent womenswear and menswear from being entirely infused with one another,” she proclaimed. Petteruti would argue that there’s potential. Already, she’s seen Rag & Bone mix more feminine codes into their menswear designs with varying fabrics and silhouettes. Being that inspiration is often plucked from the demand and visibility of others who motivate obsessions, the runway no longer dictates style fads. This means it may be expensive on the backend for companies, but we could see collections move away from the label if consumers want more androgynous, unisex pieces. As for Granata, she interprets the division of womenswear and menswear as already having been “tenuous,” which is exactly why women found themselves gravitating toward masculine codes to begin with. Read More How hip-hop went from being shunned by big business to multimillion-dollar collabs Dior celebrates 5 years as designer in gender-fluid Paris men's show Womenswear leads the way as Ted Baker sales soar

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Layers of potato interleaved with clotted cream, spinach, a hint of garlic and nutmeg – a dish that will bring you together with people you love,” says chef Emily Scott. “Wild garlic is a perfect replacement for the spinach, when it is in season. It has a subtle fragrance and works in pesto, risottos, pasta, scones and here in this delicious dauphinoise.” Dauphinoise potatoes with spinach and clotted cream Serves: 8 Ingredients: 50g (2oz) unsalted butter 300g (10½ oz/1½ cups) clotted cream 150ml (5fl oz/scant 2⁄3 cup) creme fraiche or Rodda’s double (heavy) cream 1 whole nutmeg, for grating 1.2kg (2lb 10oz) waxy potatoes, peeled (Desirée potatoes work well) 900ml (30fl oz/3½ cups) full-fat milk 2 bay leaves 1 garlic clove, halved lengthways 200g (7oz) baby spinach, washed and stalks removed (wild garlic is a perfect alternative when in season) Cornish sea salt and freshly ground black pepper Method: 1. Preheat the oven to 160C (140C fan/320F/gas 2). Grease the sides and bottom of an oven-to-table dish with a little of the butter and set the rest aside to use later. 2. Place the clotted cream and creme fraîche in a bowl and stir together, then add a pinch of sea salt, some black pepper and a grating of nutmeg. 3. Cut the potatoes into 2.5mm (1⁄8 in) slices. Place them in a heavy-based pan and cover with the milk, then add a good pinch of sea salt, another grating of nutmeg, the bay leaves and garlic. Bring to the boil and cook for 10 minutes (be careful – the bottom of the pan can catch). Drain, discarding the milk, garlic and bay leaves. 4. Carefully layer the potatoes in the buttered dish alternating them with layers of spinach, seasoning each layer with salt and pepper. Make sure the top and bottom layers are just potato. Pour over the clotted cream mixture, making sure the top layer is just covered. Finish the top off with some more grated nutmeg and a few knobs of the remaining butter. 5. Bake in the middle of the oven for 1 hour, or until golden brown and a table knife passes through with ease. Allow to rest. ‘Time & Tide’ by Emily Scott (Hardie Grant, £28).

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