Most women feel ‘invisible’ and ‘unappreciated’ when they become mothers, new research has revealed. Instead of ‘having it all’, 72% of mums feel invisible and 93% feel unappreciated, unacknowledged or unseen once they’ve had children. Another 93% said that since having a child, their identity has been reduced to only being a mother. And the weight of expectation is huge, too, with 97% of mums questioned in the survey by the online motherhood community Peanut saying pressure is put on them to ‘do it all and be it all’. Plus, 94% believe they’re expected to put themselves last and self-sacrifice for their families, partners, jobs, and other responsibilities, so they can achieve what they feel is required of them. Nearly half of mums (46%) said they don’t feel supported by the healthcare system after giving birth, and 70% expected more support from society in general. As a result of this lack of support and invisibility, most women surveyed (95%) agreed there’s an impact on their mental health and wellbeing, with 86% having experienced anxiety, 82% feeling stressed, burned out or exhausted, and 80% feeling overwhelmed, or lonely and isolated. Other strong feelings identified by mums included irritability (78%), loss of identity (65%), feeling judged (66%), feeling unsupported (64%), guilt (63%), depression (55%), resentment (54%), worthlessness (50%), and neglect (24%). Women attributed the things making them feel invisible to unfair division of labour in the home, trying to juggle a career and childcare, lack of empathy and understanding from both family and everyone else, gaps in healthcare and mental health support, identity and independence struggles, hiding the pain of pregnancy loss, and general pressure from healthcare, education institutions and the media. Commenting on the findings, psychologist Dr Rachel Goldman said: “The invisibility of motherhood is a stark reality many face. The journey begins with frequent visits to healthcare providers, but once the child arrives, there’s a sudden gap, creating a sense of abandonment. Women grapple with overwhelming feelings of exhaustion and stress, only to confront rushed appointments where healthcare professionals don’t have time to adequately dive into concerns.” As a result of the research, Peanut has launched an Invisible Mothers campaign, featuring a State of Invisibility report, to draw attention to mums’ struggles and highlight ways to make them more visible and better supported. The report found mums think more empathy and gender equality will help them feel more visible, with 82% calling for flexible, family-friendly workplaces, 77% wanting equal and extended leave for both parents, and 71% saying an equal share of parenting tasks would help. Additional measures that will help mums, says Peanut, include more public toilets having changing facilities, additional resources for mental health support, support groups for both parents, and educational initiatives about gender stereotypes. The report also identified the most common unwanted questions that contribute to mothers’ feelings of invisibility, with alternative suggestions that women say they would prefer to hear. So instead of asking ‘How’s the baby?’, Peanut suggests mums are asked ‘How are you really – mentally, emotionally and physically?’, and rather than ‘Was the pregnancy planned?’, try ‘Are you excited?’, and change ‘How do you do it all?’ to ‘How’s the mental load?’. Goldman added: “It doesn’t take grand gestures to offer support. A genuine ‘how are you’ or ‘thinking of you’ can significantly shift perceptions, signalling to someone that they matter. Small changes or actions, like compassionate conversations, can have profound impacts. “By acknowledging and addressing these issues, we can begin to truly support motherhood.” Read More The best ways to work-out in 22 minutes – as study finds this is magic number for offsetting ‘negative impact of sitting’ What crops will we be growing in the future, as climate change alters the landscape? As Rebecca Adlington shares heart-breaking miscarriage news: How to support others experiencing baby loss What you need to know about new research into treating cervical cancer How to do Halloween make up and still take care of your skin Which houseplants best suit your star sign?

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Many people with Huntington’s disease are being turned away from traditional mental health support, a charity has claimed as it called for more to be done to help people with the condition. Some mental health services have told patients that they do not have the specialist care needed, leading to the Huntington’s Disease Association calling for better help and support for people living with the disease. Huntington’s disease is a condition that stops parts of the brain working properly over time and can lead to problems with movement, cognition (perception, awareness, thinking, judgment) and mental health. Most people with the inherited condition will start to show symptoms between the ages of 30 and 50 and it gradually gets worse for around 10 to 25 years until the person dies. During all this time, my mental health was worsening. I’d seen my uncle commit suicide a few years before after his diagnosis and him not receiving the correct support and I was at a similar point Daniel Johnston There is no cure for Huntington’s disease or any way to stop it getting worse. A small new poll of 105 people with the condition, shared with the PA news agency, found that 85% had attempted to access community mental health services. But among this group, 56% claimed they had been denied access to care, the Huntington’s Disease Association said. Daniel Johnston, from Horam, East Sussex, said his local mental health service “didn’t know” where to refer him. The 41-year-old father of two said: “When I tested positive for Huntington’s, there was no specific pathway from that point for any mental health support. “I was confused, upset and angry about the diagnosis. I didn’t, and still don’t, fully understand my feelings of confusion and anger. “I wasn’t referred to a professional psychologist or anyone who knows how to support someone with a life-changing diagnosis such as Huntington’s. “During all this time, my mental health was worsening. I’d seen my uncle commit suicide a few years before after his diagnosis and him not receiving the correct support and I was at a similar point. “It was only when I explained to my consultant in our six-monthly appointment earlier this year the extent of my thoughts that he contacted the crisis team for me, and they began a course of daily calls for two weeks. “From this point onwards it’s been getting better, but I feel so sad for others who slip through the net so easily. “It’s as if people get afraid when you mention Huntington’s and there’s confusion around treating Huntington’s and treating mental health. “I’m not surprised by the amount of people being denied access to mental health support services due to having Huntington’s – I have been one of those people and it’s really scary.” The charity said hurdles often occur for patients after they have been referred by their GP for mental health support. Local mental health teams have told patients that Huntington’s “doesn’t fall under the remit of what they’re able to provide treatment for”. The charity has launched a new campaign, Mindful of Huntington’s, to raise awareness of the cognitive impairment symptoms of the disease, and has called for greater access to mental health support. Cath Stanley, chief executive of the Huntington’s Disease Association, said: “Many people think of Huntington’s as a disease which impacts movement, but that is only half the story, and the non-physical symptoms are often overlooked. “At the Huntington’s Disease Association, we find people will most commonly be referred to mental health services due to cognitive symptoms such as irritability and aggression. “Throughout May, we will be focusing on these cognitive symptoms and the life-changing impact they can have. “The stark findings we’re announcing can’t be ignored – people are asking for much-needed mental health support, being turned away, and their health is deteriorating further. It is disappointing but not surprising to see that there’s still a lot of misunderstanding around Huntington’s.” To find out more visit: www.hda.org.uk Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Scottish first minister Yousaf calls cost of coronation ‘uncomfortable’ King Charles and other royals return to work after coronation Prince Harry’s ghostwriter opens up about harassment after ‘Spare’

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