In the wide range of available sex toys, panty vibrators fall somewhere between sex toy jewelry and Ben Wa Balls in terms of the intimidation factor. Maybe it’s the idea of a sex toy that’s meant to be used on the go, especially in public, that makes them stand a step above the rest. But after my rousing successful turn using the Crave Vesper’s vibrating necklace, I was intrigued enough to do some research. To my surprise, everyone out there seems to be using (and loving) panty vibrators. In fact, #vibratingpanty has just shy of 1 million views on TikTok, solidifying it as a veritable trend. There are endless videos of people giving into knee-buckling pleasure everywhere, from the aisles of their local supermarkets to crowded restaurants to far-flung vacations.
There are many appeals to the vibrating panty. First and foremost, secret pleasure. Discreet public play adds a layer of danger: The risk of being caught increases sensations. Exhibition is a popular kink for a reason. Users also love being able to hand off control to a partner, so they never know where, when, or what kind of stimulation will come their way. Decidedly intrigued, I dug through my own cache of gifted sex toys and found one panty vibrator among the mix. I decided to test out whether or not this trend was for me or if it was for someone far braver (and more of an exhibitionist).
Panty vibrators can come in all budgets, shapes, and sizes, so the kind of stimulation you’ll get totally depends on what you buy. I used the PinkCherry From A Distance Remote Panty Vibe, which is a 12-pattern clitoral vibrator that looks like a miniature maxi pad (with wings!). Though the toy is smaller than my Apple TV remote, I knew (based on extremely pleased reviews) that it packed enough punch to keep me content. And with a run time of up to an hour, I could go on a pleasurable excursion without interruption. I decided to challenge myself to use the panty vibrator for seven days — a full week — in seven different locations/situations to figure out what made me feel the sexiest and how to best use this viral device.
If the people were putting it on TikTok, surely it couldn’t be that intimidating to use, right?….Uh, sure, Jan.
As far as learning curves go, using this panty vibrator was a steep one. The process was nothing like what I anticipated, and I still kind of can’t believe I did it. Ahead, keep reading to learn which activities were deemed the sexiest and what I ended up realizing about my own sexuality as I spent seven days around New York City trying out this panty vibrator.
DashDividers_1_500x100Day 1: WFH
The idea of going full public masturbation on Day 1 felt truly insane (and made me question my entire experiment), but I figured that getting acquainted with the vibe while I worked from home would be a pretty safe start. After all, I write about sex daily, and I figured it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to ride a steady buzz while I typed up some articles on the latest sex toy sales. Oh, the hubris. To say that my first attempt with this panty vibrator was an abject failure is an understatement.
As I tried to affix the vibrator to my panties, I quickly realized that it was meant to be worn with either tiny thongs or a G-string, and the wings I’d been so impressed with upon first glance couldn’t wing around the crotch of my more full coverage cotton undies — not even close. I contemplated switching up the style to a more risqué cut (like these from Hanky Panky), but I was already feeling so nervous about my experiment. I knew I needed to stick with what felt comfortable, despite my recent success with confidence-boosting lingerie. Luckily, the vibrator works just as well placed in the crotch of the panties. It nestled into the exact right spot as I settled back into my chair, and I was finally ready to get started. I grabbed the remote and turned it onto the first mode, which wasn’t an entirely unpleasant sensation. However, in the quiet of my living room, the motor sounded LOUD. It’s definitely meant to be worn with ambient noise present. Even alone, I felt weirdly self-conscious about it. Not to mention my dog immediately wanted to know what the hell that noise was and kept jumping onto my lap to figure it out (no matter how many times I put her back onto the floor). After about 30 minutes of back and forth, I gave up, my arousal completely and utterly squashed. So much for feeling sexy.
Photo of my dog looking pleased AF, and me looking entirely defeated.
Day 2: Walk Through The Park
My second attempt was…slightly more successful. Though, not entirely. I put on leggings and a T-shirt and decided to take the panty vibe for a walk around my local neighborhood park. It was an overcast day, so the park was fairly empty, but I still couldn’t help but feel like everyone was looking at me. I avoided coming close to anyone (like…really, kept my distance) because I was sure they’d be able to tell what was going on and call the cops on me for public indecency (although I did enough research before leaving the house to know that isn’t a thing unless I physically exposed myself, which I would not do). Regardless, I became so self-conscious at one point that I took my hoodie off and wrapped it around my waist (as though that would help muffle the noise of the vibrator that was already pretty undetectable over ambient city noise).
As I walked, I changed up the vibration pattern with the remote, trying to relax into the sensations, but I could not. All in all, my walk took about 10 minutes, though it felt like I’d just fought through an hour-long battle.
Day 3: Dog Walk
I almost didn’t wear this one out of the house because I was convinced the vibrator would fall out from between my thighs, but with a little extra security (in the form of bike shorts), I was ready to go for it. I walk my dog three times a day, and there’s really nothing more mundane I can imagine. So, for the sake of experimentation, I decided to see if I could level up my dog walks with a surprise orgasm. If anything, I figured I’d be less self-conscious than my jaunt around the park if I were wearing headphones and getting into the music.
I was wrong on both accounts. There is actually nothing that makes walking the dog less mundane (not even clitoral stimulation), and with my headphones in, I was strangely more convinced that people could hear me (even though there’s a zero percent chance anyone could hear anything over my labored wheezing breathing). Maybe it was too hot of a day to try this. Maybe vibrators and dogs shouldn’t (and won’t ever) mix. Whatever the reason, I was pretty much resolute that this whole experiment was a wash and panty vibes were not for me. Even on the most powerful of the settings, my clit remained unaffected.
Day 4: Hotel Overnight
It was on Day 4 that I gave myself a much-needed pep talk. Mama didn’t raise no quitter, and I still had half the week to try and come on the go with my panty vibe. Since days 1 through 3 were pretty much duds, I knew I needed to change something ASAP. What ended up working was a shift in my mindset. Instead of incorporating my vibe into an everyday activity (my next sojourn was supposed to be either the post office or the pharmacy), I scrapped my everyday plans and swapped them with a luxurious retreat at an exclusive hotel.
Hotels are innately sexy, and this overnight rendezvous seemed like the perfect moment to push myself. I’d been invited to a sex toy launch event for work, so I decided to give myself a top-secret mission to raise the sexy stakes: BYO panty vibrator to the overnight and use it without anyone knowing — as if masturbating alone in a hotel room wasn’t the point of the whole trip. Still, with my secret sexy contraband in tow, I felt a level of thrill I hadn’t yet in my earlier attempts. I could feel my pulse racing, my adrenaline peaking, just with the panty vibe packed in my suitcase, nowhere near my clit. Despite my newly enhanced desire, I still wasn’t brave enough to use the vibrator in anyone else’s company (plus the bodysuit’s crotch kept unsnapping, so learn from that mistake!).
However, when I made it back to my hotel room, I was more than ready to get to work. I texted my girlfriend, and with a few helpful suggestions from her, I was able to ride the panty vibrator to a fast orgasm. As I talked about it with her after, I felt like we were debriefing post-mission. It wasn’t quite a success, but it did allow me to make one vital realization: I wanted to hand off the remote to her.
Day 5: Dinner Date
With my next mission in place, I secured the panty vibe with bike shorts beneath my dress and handed the remote off to my girlfriend for an impromptu weeknight dinner date.
The walk felt torturously long, unsure of when she was going to start the vibrations, and by the time we were seated at our outdoor table, I was crossing my legs, trying to get some kind of stimulation. Though nothing was actually happening, I felt everything. Every gust of wind felt multiplied against my skin, the fabric of my dress felt like a caress against my thighs, and I could feel my heart racing with each second that passed. The anticipation building turned out to be an essential part of the experience. And by the time the vibrations finally started, I was already fully ready to go. Like most vagina-possessing people, I need constant stimulation against my clit in order to orgasm, but my partner was having too much fun of her own playing around with the controls to actually make that happen. However, it was the first time out in public where I wasn’t concerned that anyone else was listening or watching. I felt like we were in our own sexy spy show, determined to complete the mission we’d been assigned. 10/10 would recommend. I felt empowered and emboldened. And let’s just say that when we got back home, the mission was fully accomplished.
Day 6: Rooftop Happy Hour
After tackling a public dinner date, I figured I could try bringing it to a crowded rooftop for happy hour drinks with some friends. After all, the loud blaring bass would more than cover up sounds, and I was sure that no one would be paying attention to me close enough to notice. It’s possible I was falsely emboldened by my dinner excursion’s success. Plus, it made me feel myself so hard that I was willing to take a bit of a fashion risk with a matching skirt and top set that I wouldn’t have necessarily worn otherwise. As I looked into the mirror as I waited for the bathroom to slide the panty vibrator into place, I wondered, Who is she?
After pressing power and buzzing in public for about a minute, I quickly came down. The buzzing of the first setting was less pleasant than I wanted it to be while surrounded by people. Turns out that, unlike the TikTokers who revel in displaying their solo pleasure for thousands of people, this kind of exhibition didn’t make me feel sexy at all. I ended up heading back to the bathroom pretty shortly after and removing it for the rest of the night.
Day 7: The Subway
For my last hurrah with my panty vibrator, I took it on a subway ride. Clad in my fave bodycon maxi dress from Quince, I felt ready for this final mission. What I realized in my week of use is that getting off in public spaces isn’t for me, but that’s fine. Because I learned that I enjoyed building anticipation more than enough. The whole subway ride, I kept the panty vibe powered off. I didn’t even bring the remote with me. But just keeping that sexy secret and knowing what I was headed home to do brought my arousal to a new exciting level that I really loved.
And as I walked home, knowing exactly what I was about to do, I didn’t mind that eyes were on me. In fact, I relished it. I was feeling myself, and they could tell. They didn’t know why — there weren’t any buzzing noises to overhear or whirring vibrations to get a load of — and that was really the fun of it. Who knew that keeping a secret would feel so damn good?
Regardless of whether you want to come alone, with a friend, or in a room full of strangers, panty vibrators allow you to explore a new side of your sexuality. I realized a preference I’m not sure I would have realized otherwise. And though most of it turned out not to appeal to me, we’re all multi-faceted sexual creatures. Who knows what you might discover if you let yourself? Below, browse some of the top-rated panty vibrators on the market and learn what lurks below the surface. Or put it on TikTok with a million other people! Adventure (and orgasms!) are just a purchase away.
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