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Joining the Dent family in 1985, our microwave had somewhat of a bad start. It arrived, fresh out the box from Comet, in the midst of an argument. My mam had not greenlit the purchase of this cumbersome stainless-steel cube, with a vivid orange door, that Dad and I were loading onto her already packed kitchen worktop. She did not share our enthusiasm for this magical, space-age item we’d seen on BBC’s Tomorrow’s World and knew would take our snacking into the future. She was mainly outraged at the whopping £100 sum I’d cajoled Dad into spending. “I don’t trust it,” said Mam, reeling off a list of concerns, including microwaved innards, catastrophic explosions and partially cooked food giving us rampant salmonella. The truth was a little less exciting: I remember us loading the first maris piper inside, pricked all over with a fork, blasting it on HIGH for seven minutes, hoping for a crisp, fluffy jacket spud, only to find a rock-hard lump with a thin, waxy skin that hissed and spat from the holes. “See? Useless!” said Mam. My dad and I were sheepish. But as the weeks went on, Mam’s attitude to the microwave softened. For a start, it was saving her a fortune on gas as we almost stopped using the hobs for tinned spaghetti, soup, baked beans, tinned custard. Plus, the defrost button meant we now had access to all those mystery items she’d deep-frozen months back. Potato became a thing of joy as we discovered “micro-mash” (real potato, already peeled, mashed and frozen). Mam and Dad worked, so now my brother Dave and I could rush home from school and warm up glamorous microwave meals we’d begged Mam for on the big Friday shop. Macaroni cheese in a plastic tray! Microwave chips in a box! We learned how to heat food thoroughly, stopping halfway to give it a stir, before lazing on the couch, watching Miami Vice with our microwave chicken chow mein, feeling like we were fully living the dream. Nowadays, I try to limit my intake of such shiny-packeted E-number-filled joys; but still, I can’t live without my small, sleek, silver microwave. Life is too short to use a pan for frozen peas or spaghetti hoops; and how would I live without a quick 800W blast to thaw and separate veggie sausages before hurling them in the air fryer, or to defrost frozen mince before whipping up a quick chilli? Some foodie types are snobbish about the microwave; I see it as a loyal friend who has had my back for over 30 years Watt’s on the menu? Make the most of your microwave to conjure up clever meals that save on time and energy use. These ingenious recipes are from Ocadolife. Easy perfect rice with smoked trout and broad beans If you have trouble boiling rice on the hob, you’re going to love this method. It’s super-easy and yields flawless results every time. Here, it’s teamed with a summery combination of pink fish, vibrant herbs and a zingy dressing. Serves: 4 Hands-on time: 15 mins | Total time: 20 mins, plus standing (based on an 800W microwave at full power) Ingredients, available from Ocado: 250g basmati rice, rinsed 500ml hot vegetable stock 300g frozen broad beans Zest and juice of 1 unwaxed lemon, plus extra wedges for squeezing 1 garlic clove, crushed or grated 2 tbsp olive oil handful of flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped Small bunch of dill, roughly chopped 2 x 100g packs M&S Scottish Loch Trout Flakes Method: 1. Put the rice in a large microwave-safe bowl. Pour the stock over the rice; stir well. Cover (if using microwave-safe wrap, pierce to let the steam escape); sit the bowl on a microwave-safe plate to catch drips and microwave for 12 mins. Remove; leave to stand, covered, for 10 mins. 2. Meanwhile, put the broad beans in another microwave-safe bowl with a few splashes of water, cover with a microwave-safe plate and blast for 2 mins. Remove, tip into a colander and refresh under cold running water until cooled; drain well. 3. Stir the broad beans into the rice, with the lemon zest and juice, garlic, olive oil, most of the herbs and plenty of seasoning. Fold through the trout. Divide between 4 plates and scatter over the remaining herbs. Serve with lemon wedges for squeezing. Per serving: 428cals, 1 veg portion, 10g fat (2g saturated), 22g protein, 59g carbs, 2g sugar, 7g fi bre, 1.7g salt Saucy supper silky aubergine and courgette noodles Microwaving cooks food from the inside out, so you can say goodbye to spongy aubergines and hello to beautifully soft flesh that soaks up the marinade as it cooks. Serves: 4 Hands-on/total time: 20 mins (based on an 800W microwave at full power) Ingredients available from Ocado: 2 aubergines, each cut lengthways into 8 pieces 100g egg noodles 1 large courgette, peeled into ribbons Large handful of coriander, roughly chopped 1 red chilli, sliced 1 tbsp sesame seeds, toasted For the marinade: 4 tbsp soy sauce 3 tbsp rice wine vinegar 1 tbsp sesame oil 2 garlic cloves, crushed or grated 3cm piece ginger, grated 1 tbsp miso paste 1 tsp caster sugar Method: 1. Combine all the marinade ingredients in a large microwave-safe bowl. Add the aubergine; toss to coat. Cover (if using microwave-safe wrap, pierce a couple of times to let the steam escape); microwave for 12 mins, stirring halfway, until cooked through. 2. Meanwhile, put the noodles in a heatproof bowl and cover with boiling water. Leave to stand for 3 mins or until tender. Put the courgette ribbons into a sieve, then drain the noodles over them – the residual heat will soften the courgette slightly. 3. Divide the noodles and courgette between 4 plates. Top with the aubergines, spooning over any remaining sauce. Scatter over the coriander and chilli, sprinkle with the toasted sesame seeds and serve immediately. Cover leftovers and chill for up to 2 days. Reheat in the microwave until piping hot. Per serving: 357cals, 1 veg portion, 5g fat (1g saturated), 13g protein, 60g carbs, 9g sugar, 9g fibre, 3.4g salt, £1.37 per portion Smoky bean chilli with cornbread and crispy bacon With no frying odours or splattered grease, bacon in the microwave is almost too good to be true – especially teamed with this delicious chilli and cheesy cornbread. Serves: 4 Hands-on time: 20 mins | Total time: 30 mins (based on an 800W microwave at full power) Ingredients available from Ocado: Six rashers dry-cured smoked streaky bacon For the cornbread: 2 tbsp unsalted butter, plus extra for spreading (optional) 5 tbsp plain flour 5 tbsp fine cornmeal or polenta 1 tsp baking powder 1 tbsp caster sugar 2 medium eggs, lightly beaten 6 tbsp natural yoghurt 1 green chilli, finely chopped (optional) 50g cheddar, finely grated For the chilli: 150g soffritto mix (we used Cook With M&S Frozen Soffritto Base, defrosted) 1 garlic clove, crushed or grated 2 tsp ground cumin 2 tsp smoked paprika 1 tsp dried oregano 1 tbsp olive oil 2 x 400g tins mixed beans, drained (splash of liquid reserved) 350g passata To serve (optional): Soured cream Handful of coriander, leaves picked 2 salad onions, chopped Method: 1. For the cornbread, put 1tbsp butter into each of 2 large mugs (preferably straight-sided). Microwave for 20 secs or until melted. Carefully swirl the butter around in the mugs so it greases the sides, then tip the excess out into a mixing bowl. Set the mugs aside. 2. Add the remaining cornbread ingredients to the bowl, reserving a little of the grated cheese. Season well, then stir until combined. 3. Divide the mixture equally between the 2 mugs and sprinkle over the remaining cheese. Microwave them separately for 1½-2 mins or until risen and springy. Run a knife around the edge of the cornbread to loosen; turn out onto a wire rack to cool. 4. For the chilli, put the soffritto, garlic, spices, oregano and oil into a large microwave-safe bowl. Cook for 3 mins, stirring halfway. 5. Add the beans (and a splash of liquid), passata and seasoning to the bowl; stir well. Cover (if using microwave-safe wrap, pierce a couple of times to let the steam escape), and cook for 5 mins, stirring halfway. Leave to stand while you cook the bacon. 6. Put 2 sheets of kitchen towel on a microwave-safe plate and lay the bacon in a single layer. Cover with another sheet of kitchen towel. Microwave for 1 min, then check to see if it’s crisp and starting to curl. If not, continue cooking in 20-sec bursts, being careful not to burn it. Break into shards. 7. Uncover the chilli (open it away from you to avoid the steam) and ladle into bowls. Top with a dollop of soured cream, the coriander and salad onions (if using), and the bacon. Serve with the cornbread, buttered if you like, for scooping. Leftover chilli will keep covered and chilled for 3 days. The cornbread is best eaten on the day of cooking. Per serving: 613cals, 2 veg portions, 29g fat (12g saturated), 30g protein, 54g carbs, 10g sugar, 9g fi bre, 2g salt, £1.60 per portion Read More How to shop for and cook Japanese food at home like a pro Forest Side, review: Cumbrian produce elevated to Michelin-starred proportions Showstopping BBQ main dishes for a hot grill summer 7 TikTok food hacks that actually work Saltie Girl in Mayfair will make you happy as a clam – as long as you can afford it Chef Ravinder Bhogal: Vegetables are the secret to saving money

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Channel 4's The British Miracle Meat, has stirred up a divisive response online after Gregg Wallace and Michel Roux Jr seemingly tuck into human steaks – but it isn't all that it seems. The Masterchef judge and Chef Roux Jr visited a factory in Lincolnshire where they "engineered human meat" in a mission to solve the cost of living crisis. The pair met with so-called low-income donors who were selling their flesh to the company, Good Harvest. Later in the show, the pair unknowingly chowed down on toddler meat at a restaurant. Baffled viewers were quick to turn to social media to understand what was going on, with one calling it the "sickest thing" they've ever seen. Another called the show a "dystopian hell." Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Meanwhile, a third quipped: "I hope Ofcom have some extra staff on tonight." But, there's a huge plot twist: The show is completely satirical and fictional. The mockumentary intended to show the measures people would go to to make ends meet amid the cost of living – which, clearly, many viewers missed. Here are five nuggets that should have given the game away: The donor signup process The British Miracle Meat shares the Good Harvest company's realistic-looking submission form, in which donors 'sign up for extraction.' "Good Harvest encourages people who need the income to sign up, select their own extraction site and get paid within the week," Wallace explains. Among the extraction options were: 'buttock, thigh, belly, rib, wing and shoulder.' The mock page shows the 'buttock' selected, which rewards £250 in cash. Human skin can be lab-grown into a '30kg protein cake' within hours While visiting the lab, Wallace is shown how the 'human meat' is grown. The thin slices of flesh start off in a 'nutrient vat'. The scientist told Wallace it will grow into a cake over 24 hours – thanks to the nutrient solution it's immersed in. When Wallace asks why human meat, as opposed to animal, the scientist responds: "We've got centuries of knowledge of human medicine on our side. We know more about humans than we know about animals, so we've mastered engineered human cells to make these structured flavours we expect from steaks we eat." The 'taste test' Wallace takes his new findings to Chef Roux Jr at a fine dining restaurant in Mayfair. The chef is taken aback by the package's logo "made by humans, from humans" and the cost of just 99p a slice. "These come from three donors in the north-east of England," Wallace responds to which the chef quips: "Wow, I wonder if that affects the flavour." The blind taste test showed the chef cooking up three different steaks from different people across the UK. They then had to guess where it was from. Upon tasting one of the steaks, Chef Roux Jr says: "If it was 100 per cent pure beef, I'd say it was an animal that's got a certain age, and maybe a little stressed as well." Wallace revealed the person to be 45-year-old Alison, an NHS nurse and part-time delivery driver. 'You know there's something wrong when you have to jump on a bus and have some flesh scooped out of your arm for money' Wallace met with donor Gillian, a retired receptionist who looks after her housebound husband and grandson. Speaking about her situation, she said: "When the prices shot up, well... It buried us." When asked whether she was happy about taking part in the clinical trials, the 67-year-old confessed "no". Wallace went on to say that Gillian would be able to cover two weeks of energy bills following her donation. He spoke with other people in the waiting room, asking what they'll be spending their money on. "Black mould in every corner of the house," one elderly man responded, "I'm going out to earn money so I can repair it." The launch of Good Harvest's premium range The company shared a promotional video for their upcoming premium range, which the boardroom was ecstatic about. The secret? "Well-fed children under the age of six." One of the workers told Wallace "they recover quicker than adults," before offering him a portion of toddler tartare. He then went over to visit the children's medical complex which saw toddlers playing with toys while sporting stickers that read: "I'm beating the cost of living crisis." Following the show, Wallace took to Instagram thanking people for watching. He jokingly added: "I really enjoyed my first acting job!" He went on to share a photo of himself, writing: "Satire. See Jonathan Swift 'A Modest Proposal'." Swift's 1729 satirical essay suggested the Irish may have overcome their financial troubles by eating their own children. Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

The FIA has begun a review into Sunday’s Qatar Grand Prix after drivers complained of racing in dangerously high temperatures. George Russell branded the race “beyond the limit of what is acceptable” as temperatures in the drivers’ cockpits exceeded 50 degrees for a contest which lasted one hour and 28 minutes. Canadian driver Lance Stroll said he faded in and out of consciousness because of the extreme heat and humidity during the 57-lap race in Lusail and was also seen stumbling towards an ambulance moments after he emerged from his Aston Martin. London-born driver Alex Albon was treated for acute heat exposure at the on-track medical centre, while his rookie Williams team-mate Logan Sargeant was forced to park his car through illness. Alpine’s French driver Esteban Ocon also vomited during the race. This was only the second staging of the Qatar race and the first of a 10-year deal which, in the region of £45million each season, is among the most lucrative for the sport’s American owners Liberty Media. Next year’s edition will be held two months later in December when it is expected to be cooler, but governing body the FIA acknowledged action must be taken now to avoid a repeat of the scenes. It said in a statement: “The FIA notes with concern that the extreme temperature and humidity during the 2023 FIA Formula 1 Qatar Grand Prix had an impact on the well-being of the drivers. “While being elite athletes, they should not be expected to compete under conditions that could jeopardise their health or safety. “The safe operation of the cars is, at all times, the responsibility of the competitors, however as with other matters relating to safety such as circuit infrastructure and car safety requirements, the FIA will take all reasonable measures to establish and communicate acceptable parameters in which competitions are held. “As such, the FIA has begun an analysis into the situation in Qatar to provide recommendations for future situations of extreme weather conditions. “It should be noted that while next year’s edition of the Qatar Grand Prix is scheduled later in the year, when temperatures are expected to be lower, the FIA prefers to take material action now to avoid a repeat of this scenario.” The FIA said measures would be discussed at the upcoming medical commission meeting in Paris, which could include guidance for competitors, research into modifications for more efficient airflow in the cockpit and recommendations for changes to the calendar to fit with acceptable climate conditions. Research from cross-country events in extreme climates will also be examined for potential applications to track races. You don’t want to be passing out at the wheel when you are driving at 200mph George Russell Russell, 25, who is director of the Grand Prix Drivers’ Association, revealed he came close to blacking out after driving back from last to fourth following his first-corner crash with Lewis Hamilton. He said: “(Sunday) was beyond the limit of what is acceptable. “Over 50 per cent of the grid said they were feeling sick, couldn’t drive and were close to passing out. “You don’t want to be passing out at the wheel when you are driving at 200mph, and that is how I felt at times. “If it got any hotter I would have retired because my body was ready to give up.” McLaren driver Lando Norris, 23, who finished third, said: “We found the limit (on Sunday) and it is sad we had to find it this way. “It is never a nice situation to be in when people are ending up in the medical centre or passing out. “It is not a point where you can just say, ‘the drivers need to train more’. We are in a closed car and it gets extremely hot. “Clearly, when you have people who end up retiring or in such a bad state it is too much. It is too dangerous. “I know that next year this race is later on in the season, and it will be cooler, but it is still something that needs to be addressed. I am sure we will speak about it because it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

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