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A woman who felt she was “trapped in this really dark world” due to her anxiety, causing her to have panic attacks, cancel her hen do, and feel she was “constantly on the verge of having a heart attack”, has said “therapy has allowed (her) to feel like (herself)” again and she has since gone on to marry her best friend who she met at school. Kirsty McKillop, 34, a strategist who lives in Walthamstow, London, said she had experienced anxiety “on and off” throughout her life, but it became all-consuming during the Covid pandemic – particularly after going through a redundancy process at her previous job in PR, which knocked her confidence and made her question her self-worth. She said she felt trapped in this “prison” that she had created in her mind and started “catastrophising” – she thought she would “lose everything in (her) life that she cared about”. “I felt like I was basically being crushed by the dark and being suffocated by it and I couldn’t get out,” she said. Kirsty decided to quit her job to look after her mental health, but then “everything went from bad to worse” as she started to experience debilitating physical symptoms. She would cry every day, vomit, experience heart palpitations, have panic attacks, feel agitated and extremely restless, and lie awake in bed until the morning. At her lowest point, Kirsty said she did not believe that she could get better, and she did not engage in “anything that might help her”. However, with the continued support of her now-husband, Liam, 34, family and friends, she began engaging in therapy from December 2021 – and gradually over time she could “physically feel (her anxiety) lifting”. She has since gone on to get married – something she previously did not think was possible – and go on her honeymoon to South Africa, and she now wishes to give the message that “life without anxiety is possible”. “No matter what level of anxiety you’re feeling, it isn’t something that you have to accept as part of life,” she said. “Whilst it is a natural human response, it’s not something you have to live with, and, going through therapy, it has just completely freed me from those feelings and I’m so much happier.” According to the charity Mind, anxiety is a natural human response when we feel that we are under threat; it can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. Kirsty had experienced anxiety at varying stages in her life, but during lockdown, when her job was at risk, her mind was “swamped” with negative and “obsessive” thoughts, with everyday places and situations becoming “bleak and scary and threatening”. While Kirsty did not lose her job, the redundancy process knocked her confidence, and her heightened emotions quickly spiralled into physical symptoms of anxiety. She felt she was in “this constant state of panic” and started “overthinking everything”. “I had really irrational thoughts that I was going to lose everything in my life that I cared about because I was not able to function day to day,” she said. “I think, eventually, it did turn into depression, and then I had quite intrusive thoughts around not wanting to wake up if I did get to sleep. “Not being able to sleep, not being able to eat, being sick, crying, feeling like I was having a heart attack, and feeling terrified of everything was really scary.” Kirsty would lie in bed and try to “disassociate” from her anxiety, but her intrusive thoughts just kept “swirling around in her head”. She then decided to quit her job in September 2021 “to give her the headspace” she felt she needed, but the lack of structure and routine in her life only made her anxiety worse. “It had taken over my head so much that I could not think rationally – everything was like, I’m worried about holding down a job, therefore, I’m not going to be able to pay the mortgage, therefore, I’m going to lose the house, therefore, I’m going to lose my husband and all my friends, and I’m going to end up with nothing,” she explained. “Despite having incredibly supportive friends who would come and just be with me for hours, I still had that fear.” Kirsty remembers a specific conversation where her parents and her then-fiance were discussing the wedding, and she thought: “This is ridiculous, there’s no way I’m going to get married in this state.” By this point, she had started losing consciousness during the day and blacking out, and she had to cancel her hen do. In November 2021, after moving back to her home town in Yorkshire, Kirsty’s family and friends encouraged her to seek professional support, as she was “stuck, trapped, in this completely different place”. Kirsty’s loved ones had looked after her throughout this period and previously suggested she seek help, but she was not willing to engage as she thought “it’s not going to make a difference”. She then started speaking to a therapist who was right for her in December 2021, and Kirsty said she was “pulled out of this horrible world”. Through having sessions once or twice a week, and with cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), Kirsty said she felt she was “becoming much more rational” as she started to “challenge” her thoughts. The CBT focused on thinking about the facts, rather than “the feelings and the catastrophising” she had been experiencing, to try to “break the cycles of negative thinking”. She said: “When that feeling starts to lift, you think, I can get better, and I want to get better. “It’s not about fighting those thoughts, but accepting them and recognising they’re not facts.” By February 2022, Kirsty started to feel like herself again – she stopped being sick, no longer had panic attacks, and was able to sleep. In April, she started a new job as a strategist, which she now loves, and in July she married Liam and had “an amazing day”. Looking back now, Kirsty said she “dreads to think where she would have been” if she did not start having therapy, and she is beyond grateful for the support she has received from her family and friends. She does not want anyone else to go through the “absolute hell” she has, and wants to encourage more open dialogue and acceptance around mental health and anxiety, as she believes it “shouldn’t define you”. “Anxiety is a natural response, but when it gets to the point where you’re having intrusive thoughts, or it’s affecting you physically, or it’s stopping you from doing things, that’s when it’s not normal and you shouldn’t accept it,” Kirsty explained. “It’s not a state of well or unwell, it’s a state of always making sure you’re looking after yourself because life is always going to throw different challenges at you.” She added: “I enjoy life so much more without letting anxious thoughts spoil my day-to-day life… and therapy has just allowed me to feel like myself and enjoy being myself.” Kirsty is one of many who have offered quotes to inform and create a striking collection of AI art to shine a light on anxiety symptoms. The artwork, from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), has been installed outside London Waterloo – for more information, visit www.bacp.co.uk/anxietyis. Read More I was a child with mental health problems. Nothing excuses the way I was treated Mum suffered panic attacks for 30 years due to unusual phobia ‘I spent too much money on your wedding’: Musician calls out married friend for flirting with other women Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live

Hundreds of people who identify as dogs have met up in Berlin city centre but not all is as it seems. The group communicated by barking and howling at each other. Around 1,000 trans-species activists met up at the Berlin Potsdamer Platz railway station in the German capital. The group said they do not identify as human beings and instead wish to be recognised as pooches. One local said: “Just abandon them in the Siberian tundra and let them survive with their canine instincts.” Wilson commented: “I don't see anyone smelling the tail of others.” Jose wrote: “Can you imagine when they all have to defecate?” Eduardo remarked: “Call animal control and give them their rabies doses.” Ivan said: “But if they identify as dogs, why do they put on masks?” However, a community note on the now viral post suggested that it was something altogether different. The note wrote: "This gathering occurred during Folsom Europe, which is a gathering of gay men who are into various fetishes. This particular fetish is called pup play, and these individuals, mostly young, are cosplaying. Most do not believe they are dogs but are wearing a fetish costume." The note also provides a link to SDLGBTN which offers an explainer on pup play. In 2019, British man Tom Peters hit the headlines when he identified as a Dalmatian. Trans-species people do not feel or identify as human beings, but instead as specific animals or mythological beings. The most common creatures are dogs, cats, horses, birds, unicorns, dragons, elves, and even angels. Sign up for our free Indy100 weekly newsletter Have your say in our news democracy. Click the upvote icon at the top of the page to help raise this article through the indy100 rankings.

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Love Island host Maya Jama and rapper Stormzy have been photographed holding hands together on holiday in Greece – four years after their break up. Jama, 29, and Stormzy – real name Michael Omari Owuo Jr – 30, first met in October 2014, before either of their careers had taken off and started dating in January the following year. In 2018, the Vossi Bop rapper marked their anniversary on Instagram by posting: “Three years with the love of my life”. But by 2019, they had parted ways. Jama told ES Magazine at the time of the split that “everybody just sees it as entertainment”. Meanwhile Stormzy sang on his track Lessons: “You gave me the world and then I gave you disrespect. Hand on my heart, this is my biggest of regrets.” So, years on, what would a relationship expert say about getting back together if you’re in a similar situation? “Getting back with your ex shouldn’t be a decision that you make lightly,” says Gillian Myhill, dating expert and co-founder of dating app Sizzl. “If you’re looking to make it work, there are several factors that you need to consider.” Examine what wasn’t working previouslyYou broke up for a reason so it’s important to assess the relationship, what was and wasn’t working, and why you broke up in the first place, she says. “Consider how much time has passed since you decided to end the relationship. You both may have changed as people, and grown and learned some life lessons.”Take responsibility for wrongdoing We’ve all probably done or said things we regret, so own it. “It’s also important to look at your role in the relationship and take responsibility for any wrongdoing or neglect and ask yourself honest questions about whether you can approach the relationship and your ex differently,” Myhill says. Take your time It might be wise not to rush.“If you’re considering getting back with your ex, I’d recommend taking things slowly and cautiously, giving yourselves space both individually and as a couple to figure things out.” She advises setting boundaries and expectations of what you need and make it clear what you want from the relationship, while respecting your partner’s boundaries too – and even considering couple’s therapy. “You need to be able to trust your ex, and yourself, and you may need to have difficult conversations that involve confronting the past,” she says, “and you’ll need to make sure you’re ready for that. “But it’s also important that you make a very conscious decision to move on, start afresh and be ready to forgive.”Think about the people around youNot everyone may be on board, Myhill points out. “You may need to prove yourself or your partner may need to prove themselves. Discuss with your family and friends and ask for time, support and patience in helping you figure this out.” Get away Much like Jama and Stormzy, a holiday might be what you need. “I recommend taking a break as a couple, going away for the weekend to remove yourself from judgement and other people’s opinions so you can work things out together and impartially,” says Myhill.Ask the difficult questions“It’s really important that you follow your intuition and ask yourself the hard questions. Is this right for you? Will you be happier in the relationship than out of it? Are you prepared to forgive and move on? Have they changed? Are you doing it for the right reasons?” If you can’t answer these questions “fully, honestly and positively” Myhill says it might be time to close that chapter and move on.

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Formula 1 returns to one of its most famous races - the Monaco Grand Prix - after the unfortunate cancellation of the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix, with a crucial qualifying session to be held this afternoon. F1 was forced to cancel the Imola race weekend due to adverse weather and flooding in the region, with the event at this stage unlikely to be rescheduled amid the congested 2023 calendar. Yet teams and drivers will now turn their attention to the tight twists and turns of the world-renowned Circuit de Monaco for the next round of the season. PREVIEW: Monaco Grand Prix offers best chance yet of end to Red Bull supremacy Red Bull’s Sergio Perez won last year’s race in wet conditions, with Ferrari’s Carlos Sainz in second and Max Verstappen third. Hometown favourite Charles Leclerc has never been on the podium at his home race, while Mercedes will be eyeing improvements as they introduce upgrades to Lewis Hamilton’s and George Russell’s cars. Carlos Sainz was quickest in first practice on Friday with Max Verstappen top of the timesheets in FP2. Follow F1 qualifying live with The Independent - FP3 is at 11:30am before qualifying at 3pm (BST) Read More Monaco Grand Prix offers best chance yet of end to Red Bull supremacy Lewis Hamilton has shut the door on Ferrari – will he come to regret it? Lewis Hamilton hoped for more from Mercedes updates in Monaco

Amazon’s Alexa has been trained to offer better advice on periods. Alexa can now answer a series of detailed questions on periods by using information from the Freedom4Girls charity, whose guides have been informed by British teenagers, alongside existing content on the NHS website. Questions it can answer include “Alexa, what is period pain?”, “Alexa, can periods affect my mental health?”, “Alexa, how do you use period pads?” and “Alexa, what is a typical age to start your period?” Other questions for which Alexa has answers include “Alexa, what are reusable period products?”, “Alexa, where can I get free period products?” and “Alexa, are reusable period products cheaper?” Amazon worked with the period poverty charity Freedom4Girls to develop the new experience. Tina Leslie, founder of Freedom4Girls, said: “It’s so important that teenagers and parents alike can communicate with each other properly about periods, which is why we’re happy to be working with Amazon’s Alexa to ensure the correct resources are readily available to more families around the country. “The new features will be useful for anyone – whether you’re embarking on your first menstrual cycle, or if you’re helping someone you know prepare for their experience.” Dennis Stansbury, UK country manager for Alexa, said: “Alexa can now act as a tool to help families navigate challenging conversations around menstruation. “The hope is that having useful and relevant information available on Alexa via voice will encourage an open environment for these discussions.” Censuswide polled 1,007 UK parents with teenagers for new research to support the launch. Almost two-thirds (65%) of those surveyed said having easier access to quality information around periods would make them more comfortable having these types of conversations within their family. While 80% believed having open conversations reduces embarrassment and stigma, some 37% admitted they are too embarrassed at the moment to have open conversations about periods. A further 30% said they struggle to talk about them because they are worried about saying the wrong thing.

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