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7 ways for parents and carers to ease back-to-school worries
School should be the best years of children’s lives – but, as the new term approaches, evidence suggests it’s actually the most worrying time for many kids. The children’s helpline Childline delivered 7,772 counselling sessions about school/education worries last year, with a big increase in calls in the run-up to the start of the new school year. “School is a huge part of a child’s life, so it’s important they feel happy and secure there,” says Childline director Shaun Friel. “We know some children can feel anxious and apprehensive about going back to school, particularly after spending a lot of time away from the classroom due to the summer break. “In fact, our Childline counsellors see a spike in the number of counselling sessions they deliver to children about school worries following the summer holiday season.” Friel says some children feel worried about making friends, getting lost, or the workload at a new school, while others may have concerns about returning to their current school due to friendship issues, fears about upcoming exams, or the recurrence of bullying. “However a child feels about returning to school, we want to remind them that these worries are normal and they aren’t alone,” he stresses. “If any child is feeling apprehensive about going back to school, our trained counsellors are here 24/7 over the phone and online.” As well as counselling, Friel says there are many things both parents and children can do to ease back-to-school anxieties. They include… 1. Writing feelings down Parents can get their child to write down everything they’re looking forward to at school, and everything they’re worried about. “Encourage them to show you the list so you can chat through their concerns, help them cope with their worries and also look at the positives,” suggests Friel. 2. Listening to their concerns If your child has concerns about going back to school, take time to listen to what they’re saying before you jump in to give advice or your opinion, Friel advises: “You could try repeating back what they’ve shared to check you’ve understood their feelings correctly – this will help them to feel really heard.” 3. Discussing practical solutions Once your child has shared any concerns or anxieties about going back to school, you could try talking through some practical solutions, suggest Friel. So, for example, if they’re worried about the amount of homework they’ll have, you could discuss how to break this down each evening and what they could do if they start to feel overwhelmed, like talking to their teacher or you. “You could start by asking them what they think might help them feel better about the situations that worry them,” says Friel. “This can encourage them to learn to think for themselves and feel in more control of the situation.” 4. Reminding them to take their time Remind your child it can take time to adjust to being back at school, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel comfortable at first, says Friel. “Being back at school will mean a totally different routine, and it’s important to remember that this can take some getting used to,” he stresses. 5. Doing things they enjoy When kids are back at school, making time every day to do something they enjoy can really help to ease anxiety, says Friel. “Whether it’s time in their evening with friends, reading a book or hanging out with their siblings, it’s important to take time out,” he advises. 6. Talking to a trusted adult It’s important children are aware they can and should talk to a safe adult – perhaps a parent, carer, teacher, sibling over the age of 18 or a Childline counsellor – about anything. “No matter what the reason, if a young person is struggling ahead of going back to school, it’s vital they’re encouraged to talk to a safe adult about it,” stresses Friel. “Sharing their feelings with someone they trust will help them feel less alone with their worries, and that adult will be able to support them with this moving forward.” 7. Distracting themselves If children or young people make an effort to keep busy doing something they enjoy, such as playing football or listening to music, this could distract them from their worries, at least for a little while, says Friel. Staying connected with friends and family, whether that be online or in person, or doing some physical activity like going for a walk or taking part in a sport, can also be a good distraction technique. Young people can contact Childline, which is run by the NSPCC and supported by the People’s Postcode Lottery, on 0800 1111 or via 1-2-1 chat on Childline.org.uk Read More How to save money on your summer barbecue – as prices jump up from last year How to pick the best facial according to your age range What is the ‘carnivore diet’ trend and is it actually good for you?
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Why do we crave brand new clothes and how can we resist the urge to buy them?
Switching half our clothes in each of our wardrobes to pre-loved could prevent carbon emissions equivalent to those produced by 261,000 flights from London to Greece, Oxfam have suggested. So what is the allure of buying brand new clothes, when we know it’s worse for the environment? Well, there’s a reason we refer to shopping as ‘retail therapy’. Whether it’s a going-out top grabbed on your lunch break or a designer bag you’ve had your eye on for months, fashion acquisitions in particular have the power to lift your mood, thanks to the chemical dopamine. “Dopamine is known as the reward agent,” said cognitive psychologist and business consultant Dr Carolyn Mair, author of The Psychology of Fashion. “We produce more dopamine when we’re on the hunt for something that’s going to give us a positive outcome or make the situation we’re in at the moment more easy to bear. “It can become an addiction, certainly, because the same neurotransmitters and same behaviours are involved.” And buying an on-trend outfit provides more of a thrill than loading up a supermarket trolley because it satisfies our desire to fit in. “It’s a fundamental psychological drive that we want to belong to communities – part of the way we do that is through the way we dress,” said Mair – who is working with Oxfam for the launch of its Second Hand September campaign – but it’s a double-edged sword. “Fashion can do wonders for us in terms of highlighting or concealing parts of our bodies that we love or don’t love so much,” Mair continued. “But it can also be quite damaging when we feel that we have to join in with other people’s ideas about what’s fashionable.” Peer pressure can have a powerful effect, as can the boredom. “We get bored with what we’ve got, and we’re also very much influenced by fashion trends, celebrities, social media and so on,” said Mair. “There’s quite often a temptation to join in with those trends and be part of that… It can be quite difficult for people to resist that.” Even, that is, when we know that the fashion industry is hugely detrimental to the enviroment in terms of carbon emissions and unwanted garments going to landfill. “I think the huge majority of people already know [the environmental impact],” said Mair, and yet fast fashion brands continue to churn out millions of items a year and consumers lap them up. Instead of telling people to quit clothes shopping altogether, she said to ask ourselves: “How can we get the pleasure from fashion by not buying brand new, but by buying something else?” That’s why she encourages fashion fans to make more sustainable choices, starting with ‘shopping your wardrobe’. “You can make something you’ve already got feel new by upcycling it or changing it a little bit, if you’re creative. We can swap with friends, because then it’s ‘new to me’.” Hunting on sites like Vinted, eBay or Depop is a great way of “finding treasures so that’s giving us the dopamine hit and we’re saving money”, she added. If the proceeds are going to a good cause you’ll get an extra altruistic boost as welll. “We know from positive psychology that one of the best ways to feel good about ourselves is to do good for someone else,” said Mair. “Whenever we buy secondhand from a charity shop we know that our money is going towards doing good.” She’s also a big fan of rental sites like HURR Collective, Hire Street and By Rotation that offer premium pieces to hire for a fraction of their retail price. “Rental sites are great, particularly for special occasions when we think ‘I need to buy something new,’ because that’s the social norm,” she said. “Rental is a great way to keep an item of clothing in use for longer so it’s worn by more people and looked after.” Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live How can I improve my teenager’s low mood? Drinking alcohol does not make people look more attractive, study suggests Maya Jama and Stormzy: Can you make it work with an ex?
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