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Woman reveals ‘crippling’ condition that almost called off her wedding
Woman reveals ‘crippling’ condition that almost called off her wedding
A woman who felt she was “trapped in this really dark world” due to her anxiety, causing her to have panic attacks, cancel her hen do, and feel she was “constantly on the verge of having a heart attack”, has said “therapy has allowed (her) to feel like (herself)” again and she has since gone on to marry her best friend who she met at school. Kirsty McKillop, 34, a strategist who lives in Walthamstow, London, said she had experienced anxiety “on and off” throughout her life, but it became all-consuming during the Covid pandemic – particularly after going through a redundancy process at her previous job in PR, which knocked her confidence and made her question her self-worth. She said she felt trapped in this “prison” that she had created in her mind and started “catastrophising” – she thought she would “lose everything in (her) life that she cared about”. “I felt like I was basically being crushed by the dark and being suffocated by it and I couldn’t get out,” she said. Kirsty decided to quit her job to look after her mental health, but then “everything went from bad to worse” as she started to experience debilitating physical symptoms. She would cry every day, vomit, experience heart palpitations, have panic attacks, feel agitated and extremely restless, and lie awake in bed until the morning. At her lowest point, Kirsty said she did not believe that she could get better, and she did not engage in “anything that might help her”. However, with the continued support of her now-husband, Liam, 34, family and friends, she began engaging in therapy from December 2021 – and gradually over time she could “physically feel (her anxiety) lifting”. She has since gone on to get married – something she previously did not think was possible – and go on her honeymoon to South Africa, and she now wishes to give the message that “life without anxiety is possible”. “No matter what level of anxiety you’re feeling, it isn’t something that you have to accept as part of life,” she said. “Whilst it is a natural human response, it’s not something you have to live with, and, going through therapy, it has just completely freed me from those feelings and I’m so much happier.” According to the charity Mind, anxiety is a natural human response when we feel that we are under threat; it can be experienced through our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. Kirsty had experienced anxiety at varying stages in her life, but during lockdown, when her job was at risk, her mind was “swamped” with negative and “obsessive” thoughts, with everyday places and situations becoming “bleak and scary and threatening”. While Kirsty did not lose her job, the redundancy process knocked her confidence, and her heightened emotions quickly spiralled into physical symptoms of anxiety. She felt she was in “this constant state of panic” and started “overthinking everything”. “I had really irrational thoughts that I was going to lose everything in my life that I cared about because I was not able to function day to day,” she said. “I think, eventually, it did turn into depression, and then I had quite intrusive thoughts around not wanting to wake up if I did get to sleep. “Not being able to sleep, not being able to eat, being sick, crying, feeling like I was having a heart attack, and feeling terrified of everything was really scary.” Kirsty would lie in bed and try to “disassociate” from her anxiety, but her intrusive thoughts just kept “swirling around in her head”. She then decided to quit her job in September 2021 “to give her the headspace” she felt she needed, but the lack of structure and routine in her life only made her anxiety worse. “It had taken over my head so much that I could not think rationally – everything was like, I’m worried about holding down a job, therefore, I’m not going to be able to pay the mortgage, therefore, I’m going to lose the house, therefore, I’m going to lose my husband and all my friends, and I’m going to end up with nothing,” she explained. “Despite having incredibly supportive friends who would come and just be with me for hours, I still had that fear.” Kirsty remembers a specific conversation where her parents and her then-fiance were discussing the wedding, and she thought: “This is ridiculous, there’s no way I’m going to get married in this state.” By this point, she had started losing consciousness during the day and blacking out, and she had to cancel her hen do. In November 2021, after moving back to her home town in Yorkshire, Kirsty’s family and friends encouraged her to seek professional support, as she was “stuck, trapped, in this completely different place”. Kirsty’s loved ones had looked after her throughout this period and previously suggested she seek help, but she was not willing to engage as she thought “it’s not going to make a difference”. She then started speaking to a therapist who was right for her in December 2021, and Kirsty said she was “pulled out of this horrible world”. Through having sessions once or twice a week, and with cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), Kirsty said she felt she was “becoming much more rational” as she started to “challenge” her thoughts. The CBT focused on thinking about the facts, rather than “the feelings and the catastrophising” she had been experiencing, to try to “break the cycles of negative thinking”. She said: “When that feeling starts to lift, you think, I can get better, and I want to get better. “It’s not about fighting those thoughts, but accepting them and recognising they’re not facts.” By February 2022, Kirsty started to feel like herself again – she stopped being sick, no longer had panic attacks, and was able to sleep. In April, she started a new job as a strategist, which she now loves, and in July she married Liam and had “an amazing day”. Looking back now, Kirsty said she “dreads to think where she would have been” if she did not start having therapy, and she is beyond grateful for the support she has received from her family and friends. She does not want anyone else to go through the “absolute hell” she has, and wants to encourage more open dialogue and acceptance around mental health and anxiety, as she believes it “shouldn’t define you”. “Anxiety is a natural response, but when it gets to the point where you’re having intrusive thoughts, or it’s affecting you physically, or it’s stopping you from doing things, that’s when it’s not normal and you shouldn’t accept it,” Kirsty explained. “It’s not a state of well or unwell, it’s a state of always making sure you’re looking after yourself because life is always going to throw different challenges at you.” She added: “I enjoy life so much more without letting anxious thoughts spoil my day-to-day life… and therapy has just allowed me to feel like myself and enjoy being myself.” Kirsty is one of many who have offered quotes to inform and create a striking collection of AI art to shine a light on anxiety symptoms. The artwork, from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), has been installed outside London Waterloo – for more information, visit www.bacp.co.uk/anxietyis. Read More I was a child with mental health problems. Nothing excuses the way I was treated Mum suffered panic attacks for 30 years due to unusual phobia ‘I spent too much money on your wedding’: Musician calls out married friend for flirting with other women Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live
2023-05-23 19:49
8 tips for parents and teens on social media use — from the U.S. surgeon general
8 tips for parents and teens on social media use — from the U.S. surgeon general
Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. surgeon general, is calling for “immediate action” by tech companies and lawmakers to protect kids’ and adolescents’ mental health on social media
2023-05-23 19:28
TikTok CEO Says Oracle Has Begun Reviewing Its Source Code
TikTok CEO Says Oracle Has Begun Reviewing Its Source Code
ByteDance Ltd.’s TikTok is “on track” with its undertaking to have all US user data hosted and overseen
2023-05-23 19:28
Why an empty sand plot in Dubai sold for a record $34M
Why an empty sand plot in Dubai sold for a record $34M
An undeveloped piece of luxury Jumeirah Bay Island is snapped up by an unknown buyer for 125 million dirhams -- a little over $34 million -- showing that demand for high-end vacation home real estate in the emirate remains high despite global economic turmoil.
2023-05-23 18:58
Sky-High Airfares Have Peaked, Budget Airline Tycoon Says
Sky-High Airfares Have Peaked, Budget Airline Tycoon Says
Airline ticket prices have peaked, at least in the market where budget carrier AirAsia operates, according to its
2023-05-23 18:19
Car seats and baby formula are regulated. Is social media next?
Car seats and baby formula are regulated. Is social media next?
The U_S_ Surgeon General is warning there is not enough evidence to show that social media is safe for young people — and is calling on tech companies, parents and caregivers to take “immediate action to protect kids now.”
2023-05-23 17:15
These museums showcase the future, not the past
These museums showcase the future, not the past
Museums are increasingly embracing technology, featuring everything from flying metallic penguins, to robotic tins of Spam.
2023-05-23 16:45
Bridal suits: The best tailored looks for brides who don’t want to wear a dress
Bridal suits: The best tailored looks for brides who don’t want to wear a dress
Gone are the days when every bride walked down the aisle wearing a demure, white, floor-length gown, her face covered with a diaphanous veil. Bridal suits have become hugely popular with women who, for whatever reason, don’t want to don a dress when they tie the knot. Part of the ‘alternative bridalwear’ trend, tailoring is ideal for brides who don’t want a cookie-cutter wedding like everyone else’s. Others choose a low-key tailored look for the registry office or legal ceremony, then don a showstopping gown for the main event. There are lots of benefits to choosing a bridalwear suit. Not only will you stand out from the crowd, you’ll look cool and feel at ease on your special day (corseted gowns, on the other hand, aren’t exactly comfy). You’re likely to get a lot more wear post-wedding out of a white suit or jumpsuit than you are a floor-sweeping dress, and there’s a wide range to choose from, whether you prefer a loose, laidback cut, or a figure-hugging silhouette. Plus, you can find some incredible suits for a lot less than the price of the average wedding gown. From three-piece numbers to jumpsuits, here’s our pick of the best tailored bridalwear for your big day… Reiss Tatum Crepe Double Breasted Blazer, £298; Tatum Tailored Waistcoat, £158; Tatum Crepe Wide Leg Trousers, £198 Rixo Emilia Silk Tuxedo Jumpsuit, £565 (bag, stylist’s own Nadine Merabi Margot White Blazer, £275; Nicole White Top, £85; Margot White Trousers, £190 (shoes, stylist’s own) The Summer Edit Gigi Opal Silk Jacket, £225; Lexi Opal Sports Luxe Silk Trousers, £175 (shoes, stylist’s own) Aggi Bellamy Bright White Satin Blazer, £473; Aggi Jessie Bright White Satin Wide Pants, £315, Wolf & Badger Marks and Spencer Collection White Ruched Sleeve Blazer, £49.50; Black Cami Top, £17.50, White High Waisted Shorts, £25; Black Leather Strappy Statement Sandals, £45 Joanna Hope Tailored Bridal Jacket, £100; Joanna Hope Tailored Bridal Trousers, £45 (were £75); Carrieann Strappy Ankle Tie Sandals, £24 (were £32), JD Williams Jaeger Pure Linen Tailored Single Breasted Blazer, £175; Jaeger Pure Linen Wide Leg Trousers, £125, Marks and Spencer Whistles Tie Back bridal Jumpsuit, £349 Read More Charity boss speaks out over ‘traumatic’ encounter with royal aide Ukraine war’s heaviest fight rages in east - follow live Grow a rainbow of colourful fruit and veg for Pride Kim Kardashian on parenting challenges: ‘There are nights I cry myself to sleep’ Kate Middleton makes surprise appearance at Chelsea Flower Show
2023-05-23 15:51
Street traders offer a better bargain than stores as Zimbabwe's currency crumbles
Street traders offer a better bargain than stores as Zimbabwe's currency crumbles
Shoppers in Zimbabwe are increasingly turning to street traders to buy what they need as the local currency plunges in value against the U.S. dollar
2023-05-23 15:17
Banging brunch recipes worth getting out of bed for
Banging brunch recipes worth getting out of bed for
No one likes mornings. Whether you’re having a slow start to the weekend, nursing a hangover or need a midweek pick-me-up, easing yourself in with an indulgent brunch is perfectly acceptable. You heard it here first. That’s why we asked Tasos Gaitanos and Alex Large, the old school friends behind London brunch institution Brother Marcus, for some flavoursome, summery recipes to get our days going. Celebrating vibrant Mediterranean cuisine, these recipes are worth getting out of bed for. Baked omelette and halloumi “Omelettes are an all-time favourite at Brother Marcus. We’ve given ours an Eastern Mediterranean touch by adding halloumi and baking it in the oven so it comes out golden in colour and light and fluffy in texture. This is best cooked in a skillet that can then be transferred to the oven for baking, but an ovenproof dish will also work.” Serves: 4 Ingredients: 30ml olive oil ½ a red pepper, diced 2 spring onions, chopped 100g spinach 12 eggs 230ml double cream 30g halloumi, grated Salt and freshly ground Black pepper Method: Preheat the oven to 200C fan. If using an ovenproof dish, place it in the oven to heat up. Heat the olive oil in a skillet, then add the red pepper and spring onion and saut. until softened. Add the spinach and season with salt and pepper, then saut. until wilted. Put to one side to cool. In a bowl, beat the eggs thoroughly with the double cream and a pinch of salt and pepper. Stir in the grated halloumi and the cooled veg mix. If using the ovenproof dish, take it out of the oven and quickly brush it with a little olive oil. While it’s still hot, pour in the egg/veg/halloumi mix and put it back into the oven. Alternatively, pour the mixture back into the skillet and return it to the oven. Bake for 10 minutes until the eggs are puffy and golden. Garnish with some more grated halloumi and serve with buttered toast. Rhubarb and cherry porridge “Early spring sees the arrival of the first forced rhubarb, and adding it to this porridge is a delicious way to enjoy it for breakfast.” Serves: 4 Ingredients: For the porridge: 200g oats 500ml whole milk 1 star anise Pinch of ground cinnamon Pinch of ground nutmeg For the rhubarb: 300g forced rhubarb 120g caster sugar 1 sprig of rosemary Juice of a ¼ lemon To serve: 4 tbsp maple granola 4 tbsp sweet preserves 4 tsp finely chopped pistachios Method: Place the oats in a pan with the milk, star anise, cinnamon, nutmeg and 500ml water and stir while slowly bringing the mixture to a boil. Stirring is the key to getting the perfect porridge consistency! Simmer for 5 minutes, stirring all the time, then take off the heat once it is thick. If you need to loosen it further just add a splash of water. Wash the rhubarb and trim the ends off, then slice it diagonally every 2cm to make diamond shapes. Bring a pan of water to the boil and drop the rhubarb into it, boil for a couple of minutes, until just tender, and drain. Place the blanched rhubarb back in the pan and add the sugar, rosemary, lemon juice and 230ml water. Bring to the boil and immediately take off the heat and cover – the idea here is to keep the rhubarb nice and firm while also dissolving the sugar in rhubarby juices. To serve, divide the warm porridge between four bowls and top each with a tablespoon of the granola and a tablespoon of the cherry spoon sweets and their syrup. Arrange some rhubarb pieces on top and pour over some of the juices, then scatter over some finely chopped pistachios. Brother Mary “The Brother Mary is our very popular twist on the classic Bloody Mary, using flavours from countries all around the Eastern Med: Egypt, Syria, Greece and Turkey. It’s a brunch essential.” Serves: 2 Ingredients: 300ml tomato juice 100ml vodka 60ml lemon juice 30ml Worcester sauce 10ml ouzo Pinch of molokhia leaf Pinch of cayenne pepper Pinch of celery salt To garnish (optional): 1 tbsp Aleppo chilli 1 lemon wedge 2 small Turkish green peppers 2 x 300-400ml glasses Ice Method: Take the large Boston shaker and measure in the tomato juice, vodka, lemon juice, Worcester sauce and ouzo. Add healthy pinches of molokhia, cayenne pepper and celery salt, then pour from the big Boston into the little Boston and repeat five or six times. This will break up the molokhia a little. Put the Aleppo chilli onto a small plate. Wet the rim of your glasses by sliding the lemon wedge round them, then dip or roll your lemony rims in the chilli on the plate. Fill the glasses with ice, then pour over the Brother Mary mix and pop a green Turkish pepper on top! Recipes from ‘Brunch with Brother Marcus’ by Tasos Gaitanos and Alex Large (Kitchen Press, £25).
2023-05-23 14:19
5 takeaways from AP's series on health disparities impacting Black Americans
5 takeaways from AP's series on health disparities impacting Black Americans
The Associated Press spent a year examining how racial health disparities have impacted generations of Black Americans
2023-05-23 12:49
Modi Uses Sydney Event to Bolster Image After Poll Loss at Home
Modi Uses Sydney Event to Bolster Image After Poll Loss at Home
Thousands of expatriate Indians have begun thronging Australia’s largest entertainment and sporting arena in Sydney to welcome Indian
2023-05-23 11:45
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